Horace simply stared at the princess for a time, his mouth wide open and his eyes the size of dinner plates.
"It's the truth, as strange as it may be to hear." Princess Luna said. "Even as we speak, Equestria is preparing to subjugate the people of Earth....in order to make more fast food for it. Yes, I said that."
Horace continued to say nothing.
"As mad as it utterly is," Princess Luna said. "there is a certain pseudo-logic to it all. Because so many ponies are addicted to the food that Stop N' Burger produces, and the supply has failed to meet the ever-increasing demand upon it, the only sensible solution, then, is to force the supply up....by any means necessary."
"And that....and that involves invading us."
"Yes." Princess Luna said. "Ludicrous, isn't it?"
"I--of course it is!" Horace said. "Going to war over fast food? It's, I---I--"
"Completely and utterly mad?"
"Yes!"
"But it's going to happen." Princess Luna said. "Despite our best efforts to slowly down the process, the Royal Guard is being prepared for war. Armories and forges are building specially made armor that can grow and stretch in response to its owner's body weight. Airships are being reinforced and resized to withstand the new masses they are being forced to hell. And ordinary citizenry are being equipped and trained to go onto your planet and subjugate the people."
"Oh, God." Horace said, unable to keep the moaning out of his voice. ".....When is this invasion going to begin, then?"
"Within days, I'm afraid. Princess Celestia and the nobility have whipped the populace into a frenzy...not that they themselves aren't affected as well, mind you, and the whole of Equestria stands to invade."
"Great, great." Horace said. "....One this invasion begins, what's actually going to happen?"
"In the best case scenario?" Princess Luna said. "Humanity, in order to avoid unnecessary destruction and bloodshed, agrees to Equestria's terms. The vast majority of your farmland and industry will be reconfigured to produce Stop N' Burger commerce to the masses of Equestria. Both humanity and ponies will stagnate as a result of this relationship, until humanity either rises up in rebellion or the Equestrian population eats itself to death."
"Oh." Horace said. "And what's the worst case scenario?"
"It's the truth, as strange as it may be to hear." Princess Luna said. "Even as we speak, Equestria is preparing to subjugate the people of Earth....in order to make more fast food for it. Yes, I said that."
Horace continued to say nothing.
"As mad as it utterly is," Princess Luna said. "there is a certain pseudo-logic to it all. Because so many ponies are addicted to the food that Stop N' Burger produces, and the supply has failed to meet the ever-increasing demand upon it, the only sensible solution, then, is to force the supply up....by any means necessary."
"And that....and that involves invading us."
"Yes." Princess Luna said. "Ludicrous, isn't it?"
"I--of course it is!" Horace said. "Going to war over fast food? It's, I---I--"
"Completely and utterly mad?"
"Yes!"
"But it's going to happen." Princess Luna said. "Despite our best efforts to slowly down the process, the Royal Guard is being prepared for war. Armories and forges are building specially made armor that can grow and stretch in response to its owner's body weight. Airships are being reinforced and resized to withstand the new masses they are being forced to hell. And ordinary citizenry are being equipped and trained to go onto your planet and subjugate the people."
"Oh, God." Horace said, unable to keep the moaning out of his voice. ".....When is this invasion going to begin, then?"
"Within days, I'm afraid. Princess Celestia and the nobility have whipped the populace into a frenzy...not that they themselves aren't affected as well, mind you, and the whole of Equestria stands to invade."
"Great, great." Horace said. "....One this invasion begins, what's actually going to happen?"
"In the best case scenario?" Princess Luna said. "Humanity, in order to avoid unnecessary destruction and bloodshed, agrees to Equestria's terms. The vast majority of your farmland and industry will be reconfigured to produce Stop N' Burger commerce to the masses of Equestria. Both humanity and ponies will stagnate as a result of this relationship, until humanity either rises up in rebellion or the Equestrian population eats itself to death."
"Oh." Horace said. "And what's the worst case scenario?"
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April 19
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