"Hello? Hello? Horace, can you hear me?"
Horace was in what looked to be an an empty field in the middle of the night, the sky full of stars and the moon shining brightly from above.
"Hello?' he said. "Who is that?"
"Tis' me." the voice said, regal and proud. "I mean you no harm."
"That...that remains in question, whoever you are." Horace said. "Where am I?"
"A dream, of course." the voice said. "You were on the edge of a highway packed with cars, weren't you?"
"Well, I--oh." Horace paused. "Are you Princess Luna?"
A figure suddenly appeared from the darkness, a tall mare at least nine feet tall or so. Appearing just as Horace had seen her so many times before, the pony--the alicorn before him was an unquestionable beauty, with dark blue fur, a mane like the night sky, and a blue-black dress that glistened in the moonlight, and completed with a long horn on her forehead and a pair of wings on her back...and, perhaps most significantly to Horace, a noticeably slim build.
"You are." Horace said, making a stumbling half bow as he did so. "What on Earth are you doing here?"
"We are here." Princess Luna said. "Because we saw your plight and wished to apologize for what has happened to you. The behavior of our subjects has become....rather uncouth as of late, hasn't it?"
"I'm being held god damn hostage right now."
"And we are sorry for it." Princess Luna said, looking regretful. "If there were anything we could do to help you, we would do it."
"But....but you're their leader." Horace said, feeling utterly bamboozled. "You literally control the night. How is it even possible that you couldn't help?"
"Because, for one, we are in Equestria at this moment, and our ability to interact with your world is limited from here." she said. "And, well....our ability to command our subjects has become weak as of late."
"Oh God."
Princess Luna frowned a little. "Our thoughts exactly. When this infatuation with.....Stop N' Burger began." she said. "We thought it was nothing but a fad, something that would go away on its own. When we first became aware of how it caused our subjects to grow and swell from its consumption, we attempted to put forward a proclamation banning Equestrian citizens from consuming it..."
"And they didn't care."
"Not a one." Princess Luna said. "They just kept eating and eating it, more and more. I tried to have our Royal Guards reinforce the ban, but....unfortunately," she said, glaring at the horizon for a moment. "they were just as infatuated with the stuff as the ordinary citizenry were."
"Oh." Horace said.
"It was only through pure happenstance that I failed to become addicted as well." the Princess said. "I only became aware of the existence of Stop N' Burger just a little while after the populace discovered it...just in time to see formerly trim and fit ponies grow fat and hunger-addled."
"It's everywhere now." she said. "All of Equestria, from one end to the country to the other, is now fixated upon the stuff, growing fatter and fatter with each passing day. As far as we know, we are but one of a small handful of ponies still unaffected by the products of Good N' Burger."
"Maybe you could find these ponies." Horace said. "Work with them to find a cure or something."
"We've tried that already." Princess Luna said. "None of the ponies I have found have been able to find any method to combat what is happening, we are afraid."
"Oh....well, maybe Princess Celestia...."
Princess Luna grimaced. "Our sister...our sister was among the first ones to try Stop N' Burger, and is, as far as we know, one of its biggest fans. All she does now is simply sit in her throne and consume more and more of the blasted food...or, when there is none to be eaten, order more to be found and delivered to her."
"Oh no."
Princess Luna nodded. "Can you understand why we are so unable to help you?"
"I..I suppose I do, yes." Horace said. "But isn't there anything you can do to help me?"
"We can warn you of what is going to happen."
Choice 1: "Princess Celestia plans to launch a formal invasion of Earth."
Choice 2: "We fear that changelings may be responsible for what has happened."
Horace was in what looked to be an an empty field in the middle of the night, the sky full of stars and the moon shining brightly from above.
"Hello?' he said. "Who is that?"
"Tis' me." the voice said, regal and proud. "I mean you no harm."
"That...that remains in question, whoever you are." Horace said. "Where am I?"
"A dream, of course." the voice said. "You were on the edge of a highway packed with cars, weren't you?"
"Well, I--oh." Horace paused. "Are you Princess Luna?"
A figure suddenly appeared from the darkness, a tall mare at least nine feet tall or so. Appearing just as Horace had seen her so many times before, the pony--the alicorn before him was an unquestionable beauty, with dark blue fur, a mane like the night sky, and a blue-black dress that glistened in the moonlight, and completed with a long horn on her forehead and a pair of wings on her back...and, perhaps most significantly to Horace, a noticeably slim build.
"You are." Horace said, making a stumbling half bow as he did so. "What on Earth are you doing here?"
"We are here." Princess Luna said. "Because we saw your plight and wished to apologize for what has happened to you. The behavior of our subjects has become....rather uncouth as of late, hasn't it?"
"I'm being held god damn hostage right now."
"And we are sorry for it." Princess Luna said, looking regretful. "If there were anything we could do to help you, we would do it."
"But....but you're their leader." Horace said, feeling utterly bamboozled. "You literally control the night. How is it even possible that you couldn't help?"
"Because, for one, we are in Equestria at this moment, and our ability to interact with your world is limited from here." she said. "And, well....our ability to command our subjects has become weak as of late."
"Oh God."
Princess Luna frowned a little. "Our thoughts exactly. When this infatuation with.....Stop N' Burger began." she said. "We thought it was nothing but a fad, something that would go away on its own. When we first became aware of how it caused our subjects to grow and swell from its consumption, we attempted to put forward a proclamation banning Equestrian citizens from consuming it..."
"And they didn't care."
"Not a one." Princess Luna said. "They just kept eating and eating it, more and more. I tried to have our Royal Guards reinforce the ban, but....unfortunately," she said, glaring at the horizon for a moment. "they were just as infatuated with the stuff as the ordinary citizenry were."
"Oh." Horace said.
"It was only through pure happenstance that I failed to become addicted as well." the Princess said. "I only became aware of the existence of Stop N' Burger just a little while after the populace discovered it...just in time to see formerly trim and fit ponies grow fat and hunger-addled."
"It's everywhere now." she said. "All of Equestria, from one end to the country to the other, is now fixated upon the stuff, growing fatter and fatter with each passing day. As far as we know, we are but one of a small handful of ponies still unaffected by the products of Good N' Burger."
"Maybe you could find these ponies." Horace said. "Work with them to find a cure or something."
"We've tried that already." Princess Luna said. "None of the ponies I have found have been able to find any method to combat what is happening, we are afraid."
"Oh....well, maybe Princess Celestia...."
Princess Luna grimaced. "Our sister...our sister was among the first ones to try Stop N' Burger, and is, as far as we know, one of its biggest fans. All she does now is simply sit in her throne and consume more and more of the blasted food...or, when there is none to be eaten, order more to be found and delivered to her."
"Oh no."
Princess Luna nodded. "Can you understand why we are so unable to help you?"
"I..I suppose I do, yes." Horace said. "But isn't there anything you can do to help me?"
"We can warn you of what is going to happen."
Choice 1: "Princess Celestia plans to launch a formal invasion of Earth."
Choice 2: "We fear that changelings may be responsible for what has happened."
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April 19
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