I'd been watching Poultrygeist lately.
Equestria Invading
Chapter 4
"I'll take a double haypatty Stop N' Burger with cheese, extra barbecue sauce and pickles, no onions, an order of mozzarella fries, and an extra-large vanilla milkshake with chocolate shavings!"
"Alright..." Horace punched the ingredients of her order into the panel of the register, adding up the final price. "That'll be twelve dollars and eighty-six cents, please."
But the green mare impatiently slapped down a twenty. "Here, keep the change!"
Horace looked uneasily at the green whale-sized mare, then to the money, which he slid into the register before sticking his head through the window. "It's Woah Nelly, but with mozzarella sticks!"
"Hurry up, Horace, they're gonna build up!"
"Ugh..." He wearily turned back as Woah Nelly was not so much stepping aside as being forced away by a taller, much fatter pegasus with gray fur.
"A hay teriyaki supreme with no lettuce and extra cheese curds!"
Horace barely had any time to think to himself from the cold demands of the restaurant's ponies yanking him in zig-zags to every single corner of the building, grating down on his senses as enunciating the same greetings or motions for hours on end branded themselves in his brain, burning into a charred, gaping hole. All that was left aside from the frenzy was the
The joint was packed tight with a mishmash of pastel-colored blobs courtesy of its new dominant market. It seemed like it all happened at high speed when Equestria'd merged with Earth. At first they stepped down from the space shuttle with open arms, and any human with a brain was immediately leaping at the chance to hang out with aliens. But as the weeks passed, Celestia indirectly stepped down as Equestria's ruler in place of a new name: Stop n' Burger.
Maybe it was in the additives, maybe the secret sauce, but nobody knew for sure. It got to a point where humans were too scared to reach for fries over the counter at the risk of getting a hand chomped off, but the ponies happily leapt into the empty seats, fattening up faster and larger than any satire against America could ever match.
Just four more minutes...just four more minutes... The dwindling voice buried deep into the last free regions of his mind whimpered. It was night time, but the rush was still as ablaze as it'd been since morning.
"What the hell are we gonna do?" Elissa worriedly asked from the kitchen. "We gotta close soon and the place is still packed!"
Horace didn't answer, but a young male's voice stepped in. "...leave it to me."
Horace heard something rustle before Ian stomped out of the kitchen doors, clutching a huge bag full of steaming chips. The messy chomping in the entire shop hit a dead halt as everypony's noses and eyes were pulled towards the tasty, dismembered spuds.
Ian swiped away the tray off somepony's table so he could step onto the seat and stand on top. "Attention, everypony, I'm sorry to say that this establishment shall be closed in three..." He glanced at his watch. "Now two, going on one minute!"
Only a few murmered disappointment; everypony was still eyeing the bag.
"But should you still need your Stop n' Burger fix, our other spot in Bloomingdale has just announced a half off special on our new teriyaki ranch potato chips, but only if you arrive in the next half hour!"
There was a second of silence until the entire crowd exploded into cheers of joy, throwing their hands to the air in excitement.
"Until then, this bag's free."
With a pitcher's hand he tossed the bag out the door, and in a mad frenzy everypony dove out of their seats in a huddled, yet frantic stampede through the glass double-doors outside. Every patron formed dense a mob around where the bag of chips landed, leaving the place empty and the flustered staff alone.
A tense silence hung over the tables, which were left in complete disarray. Some were tossed onto their floor from the stampede, to join the assorted burger wrappers, crushed soda cups, and flattened ketchup packets littering the floor.
"Close the place up!" Ian hollered. Elissa and Dan desperately ran out of the kitchen to lock the doors inside, even sliding a broomhandle into the handles in the excitement.
Warm tears streamed from Horace's eyes, and he threw his arms around his coworker, sobbing into his shoulder.
"Thank you...Ian..." He whimpered deliriously. "I...I love you, man, you're...you're a great guy..."
"Easy there, muchacha, we've still got cleanup to do." He gently pushed his friend aside, handing him a mop from a bucket standing nearby.
"But they're gone...they're all gone..."
"Ow!"
Horace's hand jerked away from the stinging heat of the fryer's grease pipe, shaking the heat off his thumb.
"You alright there, Horace?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." He spoke, observing his unburnt finger. "Still better than before."
"Hm." Ian snickered. "Almost done with the fryer?"
"Yup, just about." He announced, sliding the cover on to confirm.
"Alright, how about you handle the drive-thru section and call it a day?"
"Sure!" Horace threw off his hot gloves and wheeled the mop bucket up to the alcove overlooking the street. The window looked like a glossy black sheet against the night outside, with only a small circle of road lit from the lamp above. The trash can was filled to the very tip, with a few crumpled receipts littering the desktop area, which-
BLAM!!!
"GYAH!!!" Horace shrieked, leaping several feet away from the wall.
"What the hell is going on?!"
"Something outside just hit the window! Loo..."
All they could see outside was a blue, globular mass standing a few feet away from the window, jutting out of their line of sight, but a white blouse buttoned around two husky mounds sitting on top stuck a dagger of fear into the hearts of the staff. Seeing as her gut billowed out too far for her to step closer, the pony took two long, reaching steps back, scratching the underside of her gut along the pavement before she heaved her chest forward with all her might, rolling so her head burst through the window, lodged within the frame by her blobby neck.
"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE DEMANDS TO BE LET IN!!!" The pony bellowed. "SHE NEEDS HER BI-DAILY ORDER OF EXTRA-LARGE HAY CHILI FRIES!!!"
"WHAT THE HELL?!?" Ian yelled, his workplace demeanor vanishing. "Get the hell out of our window!"
"Oh, no you don't! Your pathetic 'closed' sign can't match my cunning Intellect! I know that there are more fries in your freezer, and as of now THEY ALL BELONG TO ME!!!"
"Elissa, call the police!" Ian called to the seats outside. There was no answer. "Elissa?"
Elissa stood stiff and straight in the center of the room, her hand frozen open with the mop it'd been holding now laying on the floor. Her eyes were frozen wide, staring with an unwaveringly straight gaze of steely fear at the outsideworld.
"Elissa?"
"...I see something..."
Horace and the other workers were watching them from the door, and joined Ian in approaching the windows, cupping their eyes against the glass. All they could see was black. But as their eyes adjusted to the nighttime outside, they could make amongst the black of dozens of large, round figures lumbering towards Stop n' Burger, each a sharp color when they cleared past the parking lot's street lights...
Option 1: All of the workers escape, but the ponies pursue them in a massive manhunt from the scent of the restaurant on their bodies!
Option 2: The workers can't escape, and are thus forced to barricade the doors and fend off the ponies until either side surrenders!
Option 3: Alternate scenario.
"Alright..." Horace punched the ingredients of her order into the panel of the register, adding up the final price. "That'll be twelve dollars and eighty-six cents, please."
But the green mare impatiently slapped down a twenty. "Here, keep the change!"
Horace looked uneasily at the green whale-sized mare, then to the money, which he slid into the register before sticking his head through the window. "It's Woah Nelly, but with mozzarella sticks!"
"Hurry up, Horace, they're gonna build up!"
"Ugh..." He wearily turned back as Woah Nelly was not so much stepping aside as being forced away by a taller, much fatter pegasus with gray fur.
"A hay teriyaki supreme with no lettuce and extra cheese curds!"
Horace barely had any time to think to himself from the cold demands of the restaurant's ponies yanking him in zig-zags to every single corner of the building, grating down on his senses as enunciating the same greetings or motions for hours on end branded themselves in his brain, burning into a charred, gaping hole. All that was left aside from the frenzy was the
The joint was packed tight with a mishmash of pastel-colored blobs courtesy of its new dominant market. It seemed like it all happened at high speed when Equestria'd merged with Earth. At first they stepped down from the space shuttle with open arms, and any human with a brain was immediately leaping at the chance to hang out with aliens. But as the weeks passed, Celestia indirectly stepped down as Equestria's ruler in place of a new name: Stop n' Burger.
Maybe it was in the additives, maybe the secret sauce, but nobody knew for sure. It got to a point where humans were too scared to reach for fries over the counter at the risk of getting a hand chomped off, but the ponies happily leapt into the empty seats, fattening up faster and larger than any satire against America could ever match.
Just four more minutes...just four more minutes... The dwindling voice buried deep into the last free regions of his mind whimpered. It was night time, but the rush was still as ablaze as it'd been since morning.
"What the hell are we gonna do?" Elissa worriedly asked from the kitchen. "We gotta close soon and the place is still packed!"
Horace didn't answer, but a young male's voice stepped in. "...leave it to me."
Horace heard something rustle before Ian stomped out of the kitchen doors, clutching a huge bag full of steaming chips. The messy chomping in the entire shop hit a dead halt as everypony's noses and eyes were pulled towards the tasty, dismembered spuds.
Ian swiped away the tray off somepony's table so he could step onto the seat and stand on top. "Attention, everypony, I'm sorry to say that this establishment shall be closed in three..." He glanced at his watch. "Now two, going on one minute!"
Only a few murmered disappointment; everypony was still eyeing the bag.
"But should you still need your Stop n' Burger fix, our other spot in Bloomingdale has just announced a half off special on our new teriyaki ranch potato chips, but only if you arrive in the next half hour!"
There was a second of silence until the entire crowd exploded into cheers of joy, throwing their hands to the air in excitement.
"Until then, this bag's free."
With a pitcher's hand he tossed the bag out the door, and in a mad frenzy everypony dove out of their seats in a huddled, yet frantic stampede through the glass double-doors outside. Every patron formed dense a mob around where the bag of chips landed, leaving the place empty and the flustered staff alone.
A tense silence hung over the tables, which were left in complete disarray. Some were tossed onto their floor from the stampede, to join the assorted burger wrappers, crushed soda cups, and flattened ketchup packets littering the floor.
"Close the place up!" Ian hollered. Elissa and Dan desperately ran out of the kitchen to lock the doors inside, even sliding a broomhandle into the handles in the excitement.
Warm tears streamed from Horace's eyes, and he threw his arms around his coworker, sobbing into his shoulder.
"Thank you...Ian..." He whimpered deliriously. "I...I love you, man, you're...you're a great guy..."
"Easy there, muchacha, we've still got cleanup to do." He gently pushed his friend aside, handing him a mop from a bucket standing nearby.
"But they're gone...they're all gone..."
.....
"Ow!"
Horace's hand jerked away from the stinging heat of the fryer's grease pipe, shaking the heat off his thumb.
"You alright there, Horace?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." He spoke, observing his unburnt finger. "Still better than before."
"Hm." Ian snickered. "Almost done with the fryer?"
"Yup, just about." He announced, sliding the cover on to confirm.
"Alright, how about you handle the drive-thru section and call it a day?"
"Sure!" Horace threw off his hot gloves and wheeled the mop bucket up to the alcove overlooking the street. The window looked like a glossy black sheet against the night outside, with only a small circle of road lit from the lamp above. The trash can was filled to the very tip, with a few crumpled receipts littering the desktop area, which-
BLAM!!!
"GYAH!!!" Horace shrieked, leaping several feet away from the wall.
"What the hell is going on?!"
"Something outside just hit the window! Loo..."
All they could see outside was a blue, globular mass standing a few feet away from the window, jutting out of their line of sight, but a white blouse buttoned around two husky mounds sitting on top stuck a dagger of fear into the hearts of the staff. Seeing as her gut billowed out too far for her to step closer, the pony took two long, reaching steps back, scratching the underside of her gut along the pavement before she heaved her chest forward with all her might, rolling so her head burst through the window, lodged within the frame by her blobby neck.
"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE DEMANDS TO BE LET IN!!!" The pony bellowed. "SHE NEEDS HER BI-DAILY ORDER OF EXTRA-LARGE HAY CHILI FRIES!!!"
"WHAT THE HELL?!?" Ian yelled, his workplace demeanor vanishing. "Get the hell out of our window!"
"Oh, no you don't! Your pathetic 'closed' sign can't match my cunning Intellect! I know that there are more fries in your freezer, and as of now THEY ALL BELONG TO ME!!!"
"Elissa, call the police!" Ian called to the seats outside. There was no answer. "Elissa?"
Elissa stood stiff and straight in the center of the room, her hand frozen open with the mop it'd been holding now laying on the floor. Her eyes were frozen wide, staring with an unwaveringly straight gaze of steely fear at the outsideworld.
"Elissa?"
"...I see something..."
Horace and the other workers were watching them from the door, and joined Ian in approaching the windows, cupping their eyes against the glass. All they could see was black. But as their eyes adjusted to the nighttime outside, they could make amongst the black of dozens of large, round figures lumbering towards Stop n' Burger, each a sharp color when they cleared past the parking lot's street lights...
Option 1: All of the workers escape, but the ponies pursue them in a massive manhunt from the scent of the restaurant on their bodies!
Option 2: The workers can't escape, and are thus forced to barricade the doors and fend off the ponies until either side surrenders!
Option 3: Alternate scenario.
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April 19
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