The Concert Opener
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swp1
Susan pats Jamie on the shoulder. Jamie simply makes a groan.

“Hey, wake up!” Susan insists. “They’re starting. Here, take your tiny friend.”

Susan drops you back on her stomach as Jamie begins to open her eyes and assess the world. You have little to go as she leans up and slide into her lap. She feels you land on her thigh, dangles you by your arms, and brings you to her face.

“Oh hey there,” she states. “I almost forgot about you.”

A large sound erupts from the stage below, signaling that they are about to get started. Jamie drops you into her cleavage as she stands up to view below. Luckily (or maybe unluckily) for you, your head is sticking out, giving you full view of the proceedings.

In front of the stage is a movie theater-sized screen. In it is a video of the lead singer in her dressing room. Her back is to the camera as she applies make-up against a changing station, but you can tell exactly who it is by the notorious hair and goth metal clothing.

“It’s time to start,” a voice from behind her calls.

“Ok,” she replies.

The screen cuts to the whole band walking out down a corridor towards the stage, their backs to the camera as they walk down the hallway. Crowd workers key the audience to start cheering, and as they do, the band members walk closer to the stage entrance. As they get closer, a percussion instrument plays a beat over the speaker, getting quicker and quicker as they walk until it transforms a fast rhythm.

As the rhythmic pace builds, they finally walk out of the corridor, and then the music just stops. In total silence, the band just stands there at the edge of the corridor and the stage (with the camera still shooting in the same spot) for about two painfully long seconds. The audience looks confused in angst for what’s next.

Suddenly, two of the members look up from above in horror as a giant boot comes down on top of them and squashes them. At the exact second the boot lands, the tension is relieved by a familiar base and guitar intros of one of their most famous songs. The crowd goes wild over the start of the song to the crushing of a few tinies. Matching the beat, the second boot comes down on the legs two more members of the band on the downbeat, breaking the bones, and finally squashes them out of existence when the main beat drops again. It’s just the lead singer left. A hand reaches down and picks her up. Everyone realizes that the video had been playing a camera trick on everyone. They were never looking at the bands but shrinkees dressed up as look-alikes. Hence, why they only saw them from behind.

The big screen raises to reveal the band playing the song. The lead singer still holding a shrinkee with similar hair as her by her two fingers.

“You thought you could take me place!” she screams right into her face, the opening lyric to her song. You can empathize the poor tiny woman’s horror as this metal singer screams full blast into her face. She had no idea what was going on. She wanted to clasp her ears, but the woman had her arms pinned in her fist. You couldn’t see the blood coming out of her ears from the intense noise.

As the guitar solo starts, she turns to the audience, and says “Welcome to the Metal Music Mayhem! Let’s have some fun!” The crowd goes wild with screaming, and she continues, “Grab a shrinkee nearby, and together let’s unleash the true darkness within.”

Susan reaches into the bowl to grab a shrinkee. You gasp in horror, realizing maybe Jamie was saving you for an occasion like this.
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June 3, 2023
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