Oh My God(dess)! Pt. III ft. Quetzalcóatl
[Note: Artistic licenses were taken with the Aztec creation myth, just in case]

"Better cover your ears, sweetie" Skadi kindly warned and allowed you to do that.
"KUKU!" She shouted, her booming voice shook your surroundings a little, but were surprised you weren't hurt. Then again, you were in a supernatural place in the presence of a Viking Goddess, logic had leapt out the window a long time ago...

Suddenly, you began to feel a series of booming quakes that had a rhythm to them. The quakes gradually intensified and you shuddered. Sensing this, Skadi gently patted your head with her fingertip to soothe you. Soon, a gigantic woman came into view, and while you weren't sure, you were under the impression she was even taller than Skadi.

This woman had fair skin, but still the same as a human, in fact, she almost had the same skin tone as Jen. But the way she was built was more reminiscent of the likes of Lillian, she had a slightly larger chest, though, round and bouncy, but a little small on her frame overall. Her hips, however, were huge, with immensely thick thighs to support her lower body's weight. She also had a little bit of a belly, that fit with her thick look, though she didn't have the love handles Lillian had.

Most bafflingly was that she was hardly dressed, she only wore a jaguar print bikini that was easily two sizes too small on her, though she had golden bracelets and shin guards adorned with red and green long feathers, which you recognized as those of a quetzal bird. She also wore a headpiece you knew Aztec emperors wore, also adorned with jade and more beautiful quetzal feathers. Her hair was long, wavy and blonde, it seemed to have a supernatural glow, or it simply glowed a lot with the sunlight coming from the portal. She had her eyes closed and yawned as she walked closer. She then opened them, revealing that her left eye was sapphire blue, and the right one was emerald green, both with the unnatural glow that you had seen in Skadi's first.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Kuku?" She annoyedly asked Skadi.

"But isn't Kukulkán one of your names?" The frost giantess teased.

"Y-Yes... but I'd rather go by my preferred name, you know... Quetzalcóatl..." The gigantic goddess in the bikini replied.

"Yeah... No. Try again when you have a more pronounceable name" She giggled, eliciting an annoyed growl from the blonde deity.

"Anyway, what's up?" She asked.

"Well, you see... someone activated one of my transportation runes, but there's been a mix-up, and it's not one of my subjects... rather, he's one of your children..." Skadi said, pointing at you, who were watching in stunned amazement while standing on her boob. Her eyes lit up as she looked at you, making you gulp as she abruptly walked closer and picked you up without warning.

She brought you to her massive chest and pressed you tightly into it, making Skadi laugh.
"She's a very affectionate mother, you see" She teased you, and a couple of minutes later, the gigantic 'hug' stopped, and Quetzalcóatl held you with two fingers and raised you to her eyes' level.

"You look confused. Don't tell me you never heard of me before... What do they teach these kids nowadays?" She sighed, and Skadi shrugged in response.

"I-I did... but I'm still confused..." You said, blushing madly after having gotten more than a body-ful of goddess boob.

"Huh? Why?" She asked with a curious look in her face.

"Uh... well, for starters... no offense, but I thought you were a guy..." You said. You did know your Precolumbian mythology, but this was a twist you had never expected. You saw her annoyedly huff and roll her eyes at your statement.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. For some reason they felt that their main deity being a woman, you know, their mother... wasn't good enough, so they turned me into a man in their stories about me..." She said
"Do you know how hard it was to battle a continent-sized aquatic crocodilian monstrosity?"

"Cipactli?"

"Yes, indeed... Looks like someone did their homework..." Quetzalcóatl looked delighted and lowered you to her lips for a brief, but titanic kiss before she continued her rant.

"That was a very long and extremely difficult, exhausting battle, but in the end I managed to defeat that thing to make the entire continent you call North America. Then when we wanted to create a sapient race, the other gods just couldn't agree on a design and screwed it up several times!"

"The 5 suns" You said, smirking a little that your fondness for mythology might pay off, you never expected to meet Quetzalcóatl in the flesh, though even less so in the form she showed.

"Yes. Those idiots screwed up creating a human race... 4 times in a row! I feel like we became a laughing stock to the other gods who took at most two tries to create proper humans" Quetzalcóatl sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose for a moment, unpleasant memories coming to her.

"First they made these stupid giants that only ate acorns and were good for nothing else... it was so stupid! Ugh! Those were some of the most useless prototype people ever! Even Prometheus' mud people were better... Anyway, my sister Tezcatlipoca served as the sun for our land back then, but being the goddess of the night, you can figure she did a pretty lousy job... so I got fed up with that and smacked her out of the sky, but then she got mad, turned into a jaguar and ate all of the giants..."

You couldn't help but chuckle at how real she made these mythical stories sound, and her personal rage at others' incompetence.

"The second time we mostly got it right, I served as a much better sun than Tezcatlipoca, and the humans were alright, but then... then..." She stopped, blushing. Skadi giggled, but you were confused.

"I think I remember that one, Tezcatlipoca smacked you out of the sky and when you fell, there was a great hurricane that destroyed most of those humans, and the survivors were turned into monkeys..." You said

"W-Well, yeah, that's what the official record says anyway" Quetzalcóatl looked away, still blushing.

"Come on, Kuku! We know that's not what happened" Skadi said, surprising you. Quetzalcóatl stammered uselessly for a couple of seconds, unable to utter anything intelligible.

"It's not that bad, in fact, it's pretty funny in hindsight..." Skadi said, and the blonde goddess' blush intensified.

"What happened?"

Quetzalcóatl figured that if she didn't tell you herself, Skadi was going to, and for whatever pride or dignity she felt about that, she hesitantly went ahead.

"Tezcatlipoca was mad at me doing a better job than her as the sun, but then... she..." She took a deep breath before continuing
"She got me drunk... I hardly drink any alcohol, so it wasn't that difficult, but then, while I was drunk she made me eat too much..."

"You ate the people?" You asked with a raised eyebrow

"No! I would never do that! But, what I ate wasn't good for my stomach either..." Quetzalcóatl quietly stated
"...so... that terrible hurricane... it was actually me..." She blushed the hardest and shot Skadi an annoyed glare as the frost giantess burst out laughing.

"We agreed not to laugh at that anymore!"

"I know, I know... I'm sorry..." Skadi said, struggling to breath in between her frantic fits of laughter.
"But it's just too funny... oh dear..." She said after she managed to calm down.
"Ol' Tez got you stuffed and gassy, and you farted an entire human civilization into oblivion! Come on, you have to admit that's hilarious!"

You definitely weren't expecting that kind of end of the world.

"It's not!" Quetzalcóatl stomped hard on the floor in annoyance, then she looked down in shame.
"I... I'm a wind goddess... if I'm sick like I was back then... I can't quite control them, you know?" she said, and you could tell she felt really bad about that incident, but the fact that she had that kind of power in the first place made you shudder.
"Besides! You've also caused many terrible blizzards when you ate too much meat, or when you tried my food!" She said to Skadi, who laughed again.

"Yeah, but I never ended an entire civilization just because I had bad gas one day" She said, and Quetzalcóatl groaned in further annoyance.
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May 12, 2023
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