The dangers of improper airbag use
copier
· original author:
doreedo
Speaking of lucky pervert incidences...

(((Heads up, dumb-dumb! You're about to have a 'fated encounter! Or... maybe not. Maybe it's just some random lady out for an early-morning walk.)))

'Uh, what? What the hell are you talking abou-'

BOOOING

SQUOOSH

"Mrmph?!"

And just like that, while your head had been off in the clouds, still thinking about that mega-busty lady from the poster, you'd completely lost track of where you were walking. Your head had been bent down, you staring at the sidewalk as you walked down the road... It was only good fortune that had kept you from wandering out into the street while you were off in la-la land.

That same good fortune just happened to set up your first ever 'lucky pervert' incident, and it was a memorable one!

Your head, which had been lost in the clouds, was now lost in some woman's huge 'tracts of land!' Your head completely disappeared between the fatty globes that were bigger than your head- and not just bigger, but way bigger!

Holy shit...

You didn't know what was happening (you hadn't seen the oncoming set of zeppelins until you were already lost between them), but you could feel what was happening! It was simple math, you were protagonist of the aptly named 'Harem Protagonist,' and you'd made a wish that had given every woman in the world a huge magical boob job. Add in the fact that harem protagonists constantly got into lewd situations without meaning to...

Holy cow.

So this was what boobs felt like. So soft, so warm, so comforting. Your head was submerged in this pillowy softness... your senses were disabled or completely overwhelmed by this woman's massive breasts. No sight- all you could see was darkness, with the faint outline of two humongous round objects that your face was currently wedged between. No smell, except for the faint smell of the woman's perfume. Lavender, maybe? And no hearing- except for the steady, strangely comforting heartbeat resonating through the mountain of squishy flesh.

"Yes, I'd like to report a pervert."

Wait, what?

That didn't sound good- from how much you could hear in the first place. You'd only made out that one sentence, the rest of what the woman was saying was totally lost, muffled by the huge mammary mountains on either side of your head.

Wait. Now that you realized it...

Shit, you'd actually forgotten for a second how those 'lucky pervert' scenarios tended to go. If it happened between said pervert and one of his love interests, he'd almost always get slapped or smacked around.

If it happened in public...

Despite this being a world that ran on anime logic, it was still the real world. As in, a world with real consequences, laws to follow, and punishments for breaking the law.

Like openly motorboating a woman you'd never seen before. You were pretty sure that, anime logic or not, that broke all sorts of laws. Sexual harassment, public decency, and so on.

Once again thinking rationally, you pulled away from the huge-breasted woman who's breasts your head was currently entombed between... only to find that you couldn't! You hadn't even realized it, but she'd wrapped one arm around your head to pin your face between her breasts! You could feel one leg snaking around your own, further preventing you from getting enough leverage to break away from the woman's hold!

For having a guy she'd never met motorboating her, this lady was really taking things in stride. She was smothering you with one hand with almost practiced ease, while (her voice was a bit faint, due to so much marshmallowy bulk muting her words) almost nonchalantly talking to the police on her phone about her 'predicament.'

"Yes, I have him pinned. Yes, he's struggling. No, it happened too quickly for me to pay much attention to. Um... a student, I think? Or school-aged, maybe."

You really wished that the lady would hurry her conversation up. As heavenly as it felt being pressed between her giant boobs, you were starting to run out of breath.

"What?! What do you mean you won't- No, you're right. I don't want to risk getting charged myself. I'll confirm first."

*PHWAAH*

Your head finally popped free of the lady's abyss of cleavage, though not because you'd broken free... No, she'd voluntarily grabbed the back of your head, no longer using that arm to pin you, but rather to pull you free.

You were still held in her surprisingly strong grip, though. You weren't getting away this easily.

Now it was finally time for you to meet the lady whose bosom you'd spent the last several minutes squished into.

Purple.

That was the first thing that came to mind. Purple eyes partially hidden by a pair of dark shades and shoulder-length purple hair. Pale skin and a golden necklace resting just above where her breasts exploded out from the rest of her torso.

Then there was her face. She was a grade-A beauty, no doubt about it... but she had that kind of look and air about her that screamed 'don't fuck with me, or I'll make you regret it.'

The woman looked down at you- there was a height difference between the two of you by a good several inches- you could only just barely make out the sight of her rolling her eyes in annoyance behind her sunglasses.

Feeling more than a little winded from having your breath 'stolen away' from you, you sucked in a deep breath before finally getting a full-body view of the purple-haired woman.

Obviously, the boobs were the first thing you took note of.

Huge, giant, nay- titanic, even! This lady was about the same height as that lady in the poster earlier, but her breasts seemed to be a good cup size or so earlier than the poster-girl's estimated DDs.

So... something like an M-cup? That was ludicrously huge... But in this world, meant that the woman was the equivalent of like, an E.... maybe an F-cup back in the US in your old world. She was big-breasted, sure, but not a one-in-a-million genetic freak.

Tearing your eyes away from the huge, faintly swaying boobs, you took in the rest of the woman's appearance. She was... a business woman of some kind? She was wearing a dark suit jacket and matching pencil skirt (which you noted her hips and thighs really filled out), and a white button-up shirt underneath the suit jacket. A button-up that only seemed half-buttoned, exposing a wide expanse of pale cleavage, and a teasing flash of the enormous, lacy-black bra beneath.

"Hey. Eyes up, kid! Can you hear me?"

Oh right. You probably shouldn't stare at the lady. Not when she'd already called the cops on you...

"Uh, yeah. Look, I'm really sorr-"

"Yeah, he's fine. Or fine enough, at any rate. Doesn't seem to be injured or impaired."

"Uh... what-"

"Hey, kid. Did you run into me on purpose?" The woman questioned, a frown on her face.

"W-what? No! Never, I just wasn't looking where I was going!" Anything to get out of being sent to juvie or going to court. You couldn't live out your life as an anime protagonist if you were behind bars!

"He says- What? You heard that? Shit, the phone must've switched to speaker mode-" The business lady cursed, frowning as she looked at the phone in the hand not holding onto your collar.

"What do you mean I can't-" You still couldn't really pay attention to what the office lady was apparently arguing with the police about, your first concern was getting enough air to your lungs that the minor dizziness you'd been feeling would pass.

"Yes! Damn, how many times do I have to tell you, he's fine! I just kept him pinned for a minute while I called you to sort things out! I wasn't going to choke him out, seriously! You- Ugh, fine! Bitch." The lady cursed the woman on the other end of the line, frowning at her phone now that the call had ended.

Now looking more than a little irritated, the bodacious business lady shoved you back- not hard enough to send you to the ground, but just firmly enough to push you a few steps back.

"Fantastic... According to the officer, not only can I not have you charged for groping me- not enough evidence my fat ass- I'd be the one to get charged with a crime if I kept you pinned in my tits! How the hell is 'excessive force without just cause' a real thing?! Seriously... that goody two-shoes on the other end of the line made it sound like I was going out of my way to choke you with my tits..." The woman grumbled, clenching a fist angrily while she pocketed her cell phone- in a pocket on her jacket, and not in her cleavage.

The last statement was just absurd enough to stick in your mind.

"Wait, is that a real thing? Choking people out with your, uh... chest?" You did your best to put it delicately. The business lady's irritation momentarily halted, being replaced by confusion.

"What, have you never seen or met a woman before? It's the single most common woman's self-defense technique. Just grab, squeeze, wait three minutes, and presto! Unconscious perpetrator."

That was new.

Like, seriously. The thought of someone getting choked out by a huge set of boobs was comical- or the subject of a fetish/porno in your old world. Here it was a) common knowledge, and b) common-place.


"Ugh... That officer said I might be able to sue you for 'accidental groping...' But the penalty for that is a small fine, and you don't even look like you have any money... The purple-haired business lady grumbled.

Completely true, though. You weren't sure how much money you had, but... well, Shujin Kou wasn't broke before you appeared in this life, but he sure wasn't living like a king either.

Sighing, the woman rolled her shoulders- which did interesting things to the colossal mammaries stretching her shirt out.

"Look, you're clearly just a student. So, kid... I'll tell you what-"
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March 23