Tell your mom the truth.
The Shrinking Virus- Collaberotica Version
Chapter 11
"Pam threatened to eat me!" you yell. Your mom's face changes in a state of shock. Pam clicks her tongue and looks the other way.
"Why?" Your mom asks as she turns her head from you to Pam.
"She's taking you to some singles resort and demands that I stay out of the way." You explain.
"Is this true!?" she asks Pam.
Pam looks down and then sighs heavily! "Yes..." she says defeatedly as she picks up her handbag and rustles a pamphlet our of it. "I wanted to keep it a secret, but SOMEONE had to go ahead and RUIN that for you!" Pam hands your mother the pamphlet and you watch as she reads it over. You glance briefly at Pam who stares at you with disgust. She points a finger at you, turns it towards her face and points it into her open mouth.
Your mom flips the pamphlet over and continues ready. "Oh my god!" she exclaims as she finished reading, she lifts her head and looks at Pam. "This is one of the most thoughtful things you have ever done!" She leans over and hugs Pam. "Thank you," she whispers.
"I wanted to keep it a secret," Pam explains as your mom leans back in her seat, "but SOMEONE had to go and ruin it all."
Your watch your mom's disappointed face focus on your as her fingers close on your body and grip you in her fist.
"Why would you do that Ken?" she asked annoyed.
"Mom..." you try to reason, "Pam wants to eat me."
"Oh please," Pam snaps, "that's just a figure of speech, people say it all the time. I wouldn't dare eat my best friend's son." Pam leans over and rests her head gently against your mom's in a reassuring way. You stare up at both her heads glaring back at you.
"I was just explaining to him," Pam continued, "that this vacation is for YOU and they he mustn't get in the way of YOUR fun. It's the reason I didn't want him to come in the first place, but I couldn't tell you the secret and convince you to keep him home by himself."
Your mom looks down at the pamphlet again and then at Pam. "Oh, yeah, if I'd had known, I would have left him at home." She then glances down at the pamphlet sheepishly.
"I tell you what," Pam suggests, "why doesn't little blabber mouth over here stay in my room so you don't have to worry about him the whole week?"
You shake your head and yell: "No! No! No!" before your mother's massive thumb covers your face and muffles your screams. You watch in horror as she ponders the decision, looking at you and then at Pam as she decides.
"I think making him rub my tired feet after this long flight is a fitting punishment for ruining your surprise." Pam suggests. "He can do that while you get some much needed spa treatment ... or ... you know..." Pam winks at your mom. Your mom blushes and smiles. She then looks back at you and her cheeky smile is a replaced by a disappointed frown. She picks up her handbag and opens it.
"I'll decided what to do after we check in," she explains as she lifts you over the opening, "in the meantime Ken, you're in time out." You are dropped into the massive hand bag and your screams are muffled as your mom closes the zipper behind you and places her bag down at her feet again.
Several hours pass in the dark handbag followed by many minutes of jostling and swinging and falling before light floods your surroundings again as the deafening sound of the zipper indicates that the bag has been opened. You look up to see...
"Why?" Your mom asks as she turns her head from you to Pam.
"She's taking you to some singles resort and demands that I stay out of the way." You explain.
"Is this true!?" she asks Pam.
Pam looks down and then sighs heavily! "Yes..." she says defeatedly as she picks up her handbag and rustles a pamphlet our of it. "I wanted to keep it a secret, but SOMEONE had to go ahead and RUIN that for you!" Pam hands your mother the pamphlet and you watch as she reads it over. You glance briefly at Pam who stares at you with disgust. She points a finger at you, turns it towards her face and points it into her open mouth.
Your mom flips the pamphlet over and continues ready. "Oh my god!" she exclaims as she finished reading, she lifts her head and looks at Pam. "This is one of the most thoughtful things you have ever done!" She leans over and hugs Pam. "Thank you," she whispers.
"I wanted to keep it a secret," Pam explains as your mom leans back in her seat, "but SOMEONE had to go and ruin it all."
Your watch your mom's disappointed face focus on your as her fingers close on your body and grip you in her fist.
"Why would you do that Ken?" she asked annoyed.
"Mom..." you try to reason, "Pam wants to eat me."
"Oh please," Pam snaps, "that's just a figure of speech, people say it all the time. I wouldn't dare eat my best friend's son." Pam leans over and rests her head gently against your mom's in a reassuring way. You stare up at both her heads glaring back at you.
"I was just explaining to him," Pam continued, "that this vacation is for YOU and they he mustn't get in the way of YOUR fun. It's the reason I didn't want him to come in the first place, but I couldn't tell you the secret and convince you to keep him home by himself."
Your mom looks down at the pamphlet again and then at Pam. "Oh, yeah, if I'd had known, I would have left him at home." She then glances down at the pamphlet sheepishly.
"I tell you what," Pam suggests, "why doesn't little blabber mouth over here stay in my room so you don't have to worry about him the whole week?"
You shake your head and yell: "No! No! No!" before your mother's massive thumb covers your face and muffles your screams. You watch in horror as she ponders the decision, looking at you and then at Pam as she decides.
"I think making him rub my tired feet after this long flight is a fitting punishment for ruining your surprise." Pam suggests. "He can do that while you get some much needed spa treatment ... or ... you know..." Pam winks at your mom. Your mom blushes and smiles. She then looks back at you and her cheeky smile is a replaced by a disappointed frown. She picks up her handbag and opens it.
"I'll decided what to do after we check in," she explains as she lifts you over the opening, "in the meantime Ken, you're in time out." You are dropped into the massive hand bag and your screams are muffled as your mom closes the zipper behind you and places her bag down at her feet again.
Several hours pass in the dark handbag followed by many minutes of jostling and swinging and falling before light floods your surroundings again as the deafening sound of the zipper indicates that the bag has been opened. You look up to see...
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June 3, 2023
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