Like a Moth to a Light
Trampled Roses Chapter 4

[Original author: Da Sunfish]

Vivienne sat petrified in her chair. Her entire field of vision had been taken up by these massive sneakers which were connected to a pair of giant, muscular legs. Legs that seemed to continue on forever before disappearing into a pair of incomprehensibly large black shorts. Viv forced herself to tear her eyes away from the monolithic limbs, willing herself to slow her breathing while trying to calm her racing heart. She glanced down at her hands which were slowly turning white from clutching the edge of her chair too tightly. Viv gradually let her hands go, wiping the sweat off on her pants and wiggling them to bring some life back.

It's not as if Viv hadn't been in a situation where she was unnoticed before, or even one where she had felt threatened by someone of a "regular" size, but for some reason this felt different. Of course she was still terrified to the core, but she also felt a sense of awkward belonging, as if this were where she was meant to be. She knew the idea was preposterous, but somehow she felt that she had a bottomless chasm inside of her that needed to be filled. Viv didn't recall ever having this deep feeling of dissatisfaction, but she knew now, in such close vicinity to the magnificent being in front of her, that she could only fill in the metaphorical pit by getting closer to him.

Viv knew that it could very well mean suicide to leave her workplace of relative safety, but she was so intensely drawn towards Trevor, urged on by the promise of finding a true goal in life. She slowly stood up, out of her chair and pushed it back, her eyes never leaving the massive sneakers in front of her. She took a step towards the enormous footwear, not truly knowing what she was doing. Her mind screamed at her to back off, lay low, and just wait for Trevor to leave.

She took another step. Her brain was barely functioning properly anymore, simultaneously shoving her forwards and yanking her back. As she took several more steps an intense feeling of fear swelled up inside of her, feelings built into all animals. She recognized that the thing in front of her was dangerous, and that she was weak and pathetic. She should be doing the opposite of what she was doing. The mouse should never approach the lion. But while all the rational parts of her were trying their best to stop her, there surged forwards an even more intense feeling. The need to find out true satisfaction. The need to return to where she belonged.

Before she knew what was happening she had taken several more steps and was only a mere stone's throw away from the giant sneakers. They were somehow even more intimidating and impressive at this distance. The legs that seemed like totems before now might as well have been the empire state building, and each foot was about the size of a school bus. Viv couldn't even quite connect the alien shapes before her as connected to her handsome student. She thought about the way Trevor looked at her. Like she was worthless dirt, not even worth any of his time. In front of his massive shoes, she started to feel that way. Maybe she wasn't worth anything compared to him. But she wanted to be worth something, to be valued at more than the bug she was. She wished for Trevor's approval, at least a nod in her direction, and she knew this was what would satisfy her.

But while Viv was still thinking these things, the landscape before her started to shift. The massive appendages shot into the air faster than she could react. She had no idea how such a huge amount of mass could move so quickly. All at once, the hypnotic attraction towards Trevor disappeared and was replaced with pure fear. Animal instinct. She turned around and sprinted towards the corner where her workplace was, but she tripped on a tiny stone on the ground and was sent tumbling. Viv scrambled to her feet, but she stopped when she noticed that the movement had stopped. All that had happened was a readjustment of position.

Nothing substantial had happened, but this little scare had brought back much of Viv's caution. Slowly backing off into her corner she reevaluated her choices. While it was painfully clear that she was not at all safe near Trevor's titanic feet, she also had to acknowledge that the yearning had come back again. This time stronger than before.

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May 12, 2023
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