Definitely not the kind of Church you expected
"Hello?" You said, your voice echoed eerily around the surprisingly large empty space inside. You didn't even know they built churches like this, but you couldn't help but think that this looked decidedly different from the one you accompanied your grandma Regina to.

"Hey there!" You suddenly heard a man's voice coming right from behind you.

"Holy...!" You said as you were obviously scared, but held your tongue before making your first impression here the wrong one.

"Why yes, this is a holy place" The man replied with a subtle but smug chuckle. You took a deep breath and turned around.

Instead of the typical old man that you were expecting, before you stood a man that looked like he was in his mid to late 20's or his early 30's. But he was fully dressed as a priest, quite elaborately so by the way. He wore a black priest robe with embroidered crosses, and white gloves. He had long, straight hair that you weren't sure if it was silvery blond or white and wore small, gray, round glasses. Cheeky smirk aside, somehow you felt like this man was somewhat of a klutz.

"Ah, how nice to see a new devotee! Welcome, welcome to the house of the Lord" He then said, most likely realizing he hadn't seen you here before.

"T-Thank you" You laughed "Maybe technically not new, I've come here before with my grandma but I couldn't recognize the place. I guess some remodeling has been done since then"

"Oh?" The priest's interest had been piqued, finding that statement pretty interesting "Well, how may I assist you on this day blessed by the Lord?" He said with a cheerful clap of his hands.

"Well... I think I'm in need of advice, and neither my friends nor most of the adults around have been able to help me. My mom suggested to come to the Church for spiritual guidance" You said, feeling a bit embarrassed already.

"And that's a fine suggestion, I may add! We need more young people who are willing to give our noble Church a try!" The priest said. Somehow, you felt a car salesman vibe from him but shook your head and decided to ignore it.

"Well, we used to have a decent amount of teenagers in our holy congregation but for some reason fewer and fewer attend anymore. I mean, I know that that Tiktok nonsense can be fun, but is it really that much to come here once or twice a month?" He said, but apparently, he caught himself rambling "Sorry. I guess I haven't had the chance to talk to people who don't work here in a while" He then gestured at one of the many empty pews to take a seat and start your conversation process.

"By the way, Father Adán Díaz, pleased to meet you" He said, offering his hand for a handshake, which you took and shook accordingly.

"Blaise Santos" You replied, feeling a bit awkward "Pleased to meet you as well" You said and then took a seat, with Father Díaz taken a seat next to you.

"Alright, what kind of troubles plague your poor, young soul?" He asked.

"I know it's going to sound silly. Or, I dunno. I guess I could say I'm struggling with some... questionable desires, and I don't know how to control them" You said after mustering the courage to speak for about a minute.

"I see" He said in a more calm, serious tone "No problem is too silly for our Lord though. And He knows from first-hand experience what it was like to be a human, to have those struggles. He felt them too. It's part of our flawed nature, so, do't worry, everyone has their own struggles, even myself" He said with a more cheerful tone "A few centuries back, they would've burned me at the stake for gluttony just because I may have put twelve lumps of sugar in my coffee or something like that" He laughed, aiming to lighten the mood "Anyway, please continue"

"Thank you Father. I wish my problem was like that too" You laughed a little "What I'm struggling against is something dirtier... I feel attracted to, uh, things I shouldn't"

"Hmm?" Father Díaz raised an eyebrow, he looked you up and down more than once, and he seemed to be scanning your very soul with his light blue eyes "You don't look like much of a sinner, son. What could it possibly be this thing that's causing you trouble?"

You looked around, despite there being only 2 people in the entire church, you couldn't help but feel paranoid, exposing yourself like this to someone who might as well be a complete stranger, albeit one willing to listen "Girl's butts" You said with a heavy sigh, feeling like a mass murdered that had just confessed his crimes.

"Eh?" Father Díaz showed a confused expression "Could you repeat that? I think my hearing's not as good as it used to be"

You were surprised, he didn't look that old, but maybe he was? Then again, your grandma Xóchitl didn't look that much older than Dolores and was about 20 years older.

"Girl's butts... please don't make me say it again, Father" You said, and you saw a confused expression in the priest's face.

"Say, Blaise... Are you looking to serve the Lord full time? You know, as a priest yourself?" He asked you with a surprisingly serious but still calm tone.

"H-Huh?! N-No, sorry. No offense. I just had never thought about it" You said.

"Don't worry. So... has this desire caused you to commit any sins? Have you acted upon these urges?" He asked.

"No, not to my knowledge" You replied.

"Then... I'm sorry my son but I don't see the problem here" He shrugged in such a nonchalant way that you felt like faceplanting on the ground like in your typical comedy anime.
"I think I understand what you're getting at. But those feelings are natural to a developing body. You could say that they are mere quirks as your body develops, getting fine tuned in the numerous marvelous ways our Lord devised a long time ago"

"B-But I need something to keep it under control, Father!" You said, raising your voice a little, not quite in anger but rather desperation "Such is my luck that most of my friends are girls and, well... I'm sure you must know, there are things they shouldn't see"

"Hmm" He had a thoughtful look for a moment "How about wearing baggy pants?" He suggested, once again making you feel like this became a comedy and nobody gave you the memo.

"I'd rather not have to rely on them forever, Father" You sighed.

"It won't be forever. Well, I guess it'll take like 5 years or so until you turn 21 or 22" He explained.

"Um, Father, with all due respect... I'm 18" You said.

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow "You really fooled me, young man! I thought you were a highschool freshman"

"Yeah... I've been told" You sighed again. It was true, you had apparently inherited whatever it made your mom and grandma look younger than their actual age, which often resulten in various compliments from older people such as Dolores that managed to make you blush with ease. On the other hand, you were a bit self conscious about this, because you didn't think that being considered "baby faced" would make it to any girl's top list of traits they found attractive.

"If your desire is kept under control and you restrain yourself enough not to act upon it, there is no sin, as far as I can tell" Father Díaz said "And if you're not looking to take on the priestly robes, why not find someone who can let you indulge those under holy matrimony?"

Your eyes widened and you blushed furiously at that suggestion.

"Have you read the Song of Solomon? All is fair under good ol' marriage!" He whispered while giggling "Granted, that one was more about the attic than the basement, but the same general principle applies"

You facepalmed once again, you couldn't believe that not even the church could help.
"So, is there no way to suppress these perverted desires?"

"Oh, there are, but I don't believe you should" He said "Well, maybe there is something that you can do about it, how about-" And at that moment, his cellphone rang. It could be briefly seen that there was a text message notification on its home screen that read "Code: 2.18.1.16"
"Excuse me for a minute" He said as he picked up and walked out presumably to have some privacy in the back yard.

A few minutes later, he walked back in but didn't sit down next to you like before.
"Apologies, my son, but I've got some urgent business to attend to. But worry not! I shall not leave a troubled sheep without a shepherd" He then whistled loudly enough for it to echo around the church, and before you knew it, you heard rapid footsteps approaching.

"Father Díaz, how many times do I need to ask you not to whistle inside? It brings poverty!" A girl's voice was heard.

You turned to look at where the voice had come from and were surprised to see a girl that looked like she might still be attending college, wearing a nun's habit and sporting long, silver hair and golden eyes. However, more than that, what caught your eye was her outrageous curves despite her slender-looking frame, her boobs were pretty big, almost as big as Jen's but her cake took itself literally, her butt was massive, bigger than Lulu's, and by how much it bounced, it might be even fatter. Her robes that were supposed to be modest ended up looking anything but, as they were very visibly strained against this nun's abundant thiccness.

"Ha! I needed a way to summon you immediately or you'd be lazing around doing Lord-knows-what" The priest chuckled, making the young nun pout "Anyway, we've got a guest in need of good spiritual advice. I need to head out so I'll have to leave him in your care"

"Don't worry, Father, uh I can wait for you to come back" You said timidly, definitely not wanting to open up like this to such a pretty girl even if she's a nun.

"I'm afraid these errands will take fairly long" He said "But relax! This is Sister Caren Laitinen, our part-time nun. But don't let her looks fool you! She's every bit as qualified as any other nun or myself to impart the kind of spiritual advice you need. With that taken care of, adéu" He waved before leaving in a apparent hurry. This was when Caren turned to look at you.

"Hello there" She said with a sweet tone that only made you blush again and gulp nervously...
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May 12, 2023
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