Once again you felt as if your heart was getting squeezed like an empty soda can. You didn't want to outright tell Bailey that you didn't love her, and it wasn't even that you disliked her as a person, but you still had your crush on Jen and getting involved with Toxic Lily's family was a huge No No, but you couldn't think of a way of telling her these things without sounding like an absolute jerk.
And she was giving you the puppy eyes while still holding you close to her, which didn't help at all when it came to stabilizing your thoughts. She was looking at you in the eye with such intensity that you could feel it and looked away in shame. Whatever thoughts you were trying to have at that moment were abruptly interrupted as you felt something completely unexpected: a lick! Bailey giggled as she gave you a playful lick on the cheek, still giving you that intense, yet sweet look.
"Is there another girl that you like then?" She asked you, still in her usual sweet voice, but the sheer bluntness of her question caught you off guard and it made you nervous, there was no way you could lie your way out of that one when it felt like she had already scanned your entire soul with her eyes.
"N-No... I mean, Yes, wait... No, but technically... I mean, uhh..." You still didn't have the heart nor the guts to tell it outright, but you also knew that you were found out already so the next best thing you could try is to soften the blow " *sigh* It's complicated, and I haven't really sorted that out yet" You said, wincing by reflex as you anticipated that this is when she would get real mad, and as she was one of the sweetest, most calm and gentle people you knew, you were actually terrified to witness her wrath, even more so as you remembered that Toxic Lily's blood also flowed through her veins.
It felt as if time slowed down to a painstaking crawl, these were the most tense seconds of your life and at this moment you were pretty much expecting someone like Toxic Lily or Valentina to emerge right now, your whole body tensed up and you tried to back away, feeling that extreme violence was just about to ensue... but the seconds passed and passed and nothing happened. You felt like you were just being lulled into a false sense of security. Then you heard her gasping.
"Wow" Bailey's voice finally snapped out of it, and you fearfully opened just a single eye to look at her, she looked like she was shocked herself, but was already recovering from it "Are you really that scared right now?" She asked and you followed her gaze, she had still been grabbing you by the wrists, and your arms were trembling.
"You just thought I was gonna get mad right now, didn't you?" She asked, but not in the smug or taunting tone you'd expect, instead she sounded... actually concerned, which got you to raise an eyebrow, wondering if she was for real.
"Who... who hurt you so badly that you got this frightened?" She then asked and your eyes widened, you had exposed yourself, but not in the way you were anticipating, and perhaps this was even worse.
"I know my sister's really bad, but she's like that to everyone... and she doesn't go so hard with anyone specifically" Bailey said as she let go of your wrists and slowly reached to grab your face with both hands, a motion at which you flinched by reflex, making her frown, yet she looked even more concerned "I feel it's somebody else... but who? Who else has hurt you so bad you react like this?" She said, grabbing you by the face as gently as she could and bringing you closer, as if she could peer into your very thoughts by looking at you hard enough in the eyes.
"I think there's something you're not telling, and I don't mean just me, this looks like it's something you've been hiding... Do... do you want to talk about it?"
'Crap!' You thought, Bailey had made you lower your guard so much that all the internal checks in your mind had failed, buckled under the overwhelming sensory inputs you got from her, revealing at least a glimpse of some of the real nasty stuff that you've been hiding, stuffed down somewhere in the deepest, darkest recesses of your mind... all the mental scars that the likes of Toxic Lily and Valentina inflicted upon you. You had done a pretty good job hiding all that mess from your friends and the people around you, because why burden other people that had their own, real problems with your own insignificant little struggles that even you knew were all in your head?
"I don't think it's a good idea to talk about that, and that doesn't even matter, it's not really a big deal. You don't have to worry about that" You said, but even you felt that it was half heartedly at best, either you were a very lousy liar or perhaps something else deeper down in your subconscious was betraying you.
"Of course I have to worry about you! Even if you're not my boyfriend, we're still friends, right?" She replied and you nodded, feeling slightly more at ease, you didn't flinch when she caressed your hair with one hand "You know... Lily sometimes talks about you"
"H-Huh?!" Your eyes widened in surprise.
"When she's not ranting about how much she hates you or that she wants to make you pay, she's mentioned some things"
"Like what?" You asked, since Toxic Lily never had any positive interactions with you, you were really curious what else she could possibly talk about.
"Well, she says that your friends aren't really your friends, at least some of them... that they're just keeping you around like a pet to show off" Bailey said "And she meant the girls, Jim and Pete may be quirky and a little pervy but they're not that bad, they're more like harmless clowns"
"Well, with friends like those, I might not even be a clown, but the entire circus" You said with a slight chuckle, which got Bailey to laugh cutely for a moment, before she remembered the current situation and frowned, poking your nose with an accusing finger.
"Blaise! This is serious!" She said, but couldn't stop herself from laughing some more "But that was a good one" She then took a moment to let the rest of that laughter out of her system before taking a deep breath, getting back to her concerned mood.
"Anyway, I've seen your friends and I don't know what to think for sure. Lily might have a point"
"Lily just speaks nonsense, she just holds some deep grudge against me and my friends since frickin kindergarten" You replied "I'm fine, if anything it's just Lily herself that's done some damage, but it's nothing too important"
"Hate to say this but I don't really believe that last part. You're hurt, but you don't wanna tell why or how" Bailey said, looking away for a moment as she gathered her own thoughts "Anyway, even if it's not with me, I think you should really talk to someone you trust about these things, but being honest, I'd love it if you gave me that level of trust" She said, pulling you even closer to her face.
"I just want to see you shine like you always do, but without having to hide that pain"
"A-Alright" You said, looking at the floor, or trying to, as Bailey's sizable chest blocked most of your view of it.
"So... about the other thing, this other girl you have feelings for... have you gotten anywhere with her?" She asked. You took a deep breath, knowing that trying to weasel out of that one was also out of the question, and you couldn't even be mad because she was just worried about you and being nice and kind... like she's always been to you, though you could do with some more less forwardness when it came to her advances, but eh, no one's perfect.
"Nope... as much as it hurts to say, I don't think I've gotten anywhere meaningful in all these years" You said.
"Years?" Bailey gasped and you realized you messed up once more. She then hugged you closer to her, pressing your chest against hers "I already said it before, but you know that I love you and I wouldn't like to see you burn yourself out chasing some unreachable goal" She then chuckled "You know, all this time I thought you had feelings for one of your friends. I didn't think you were chasing after some pretty senior like most guys"
"Wait, what?!" You raised an eyebrow again. But you were quick to realize why she drew such a conclusion "That's not what I-"
"Hey, I know that one's feelings can't change on a whim, and that I'm not exactly as pretty as the more popular girls... but I still think that if you just gave me one chance we could have something. I don't mind having to work a little harder to have you fall in love with me" She said, almost whispering into your ear, her warm breath giving you goosebumps all over your arm as it gently caressed you.
"Bailey..."
"Is this about my sister?" She said, anticipating a possible argument you may give, and something she's been sorely aware of since the very beginning. You knew that it was at least in part true, and while you really didn't want to break her heart, maybe telling the truth would help your case.
"In a way, yes" You said with a defeated sigh "Bailey, if we're together, Toxic Lily's going to turn our lives into such a hell that our current problems will look like a picnic in comparison" You expected that this would finally get her to stop, for both her sake and yours. However, she simply smiled in response, prompting you to give her a confused look "What?"
"I can finally protect you from her, or from anyone for that matter" Bailey said "If you let me, of course... but I'm not kidding, I found a way to protect you from anyone who might want to hurt you for real"
"Huh? But how?"
"You'll have to trust me on that one" She said with a playful wink "I promise that as my boyfriend, I will try my best to help you heal and to keep you safe from harm, whatever it might be, or whoever"
"I mean, not even someone like the Mayor could guarantee something like that" You said, but you saw the sheer intensity in her eyes, whatever it was, she was being fully sincere and confident on it. Maybe you should take this leap of faith? It wasn't like she'd ever done anything bad to you either, and even your mom and grandma Xóchitl had taught you that "some things happen for a reason" and that it was best to make the best of it... but then again, getting into a relationship with a girl you hadn't fallen in love yet, but she didn't even mind herself, and she was aware of it herself...
And she was giving you the puppy eyes while still holding you close to her, which didn't help at all when it came to stabilizing your thoughts. She was looking at you in the eye with such intensity that you could feel it and looked away in shame. Whatever thoughts you were trying to have at that moment were abruptly interrupted as you felt something completely unexpected: a lick! Bailey giggled as she gave you a playful lick on the cheek, still giving you that intense, yet sweet look.
"Is there another girl that you like then?" She asked you, still in her usual sweet voice, but the sheer bluntness of her question caught you off guard and it made you nervous, there was no way you could lie your way out of that one when it felt like she had already scanned your entire soul with her eyes.
"N-No... I mean, Yes, wait... No, but technically... I mean, uhh..." You still didn't have the heart nor the guts to tell it outright, but you also knew that you were found out already so the next best thing you could try is to soften the blow " *sigh* It's complicated, and I haven't really sorted that out yet" You said, wincing by reflex as you anticipated that this is when she would get real mad, and as she was one of the sweetest, most calm and gentle people you knew, you were actually terrified to witness her wrath, even more so as you remembered that Toxic Lily's blood also flowed through her veins.
It felt as if time slowed down to a painstaking crawl, these were the most tense seconds of your life and at this moment you were pretty much expecting someone like Toxic Lily or Valentina to emerge right now, your whole body tensed up and you tried to back away, feeling that extreme violence was just about to ensue... but the seconds passed and passed and nothing happened. You felt like you were just being lulled into a false sense of security. Then you heard her gasping.
"Wow" Bailey's voice finally snapped out of it, and you fearfully opened just a single eye to look at her, she looked like she was shocked herself, but was already recovering from it "Are you really that scared right now?" She asked and you followed her gaze, she had still been grabbing you by the wrists, and your arms were trembling.
"You just thought I was gonna get mad right now, didn't you?" She asked, but not in the smug or taunting tone you'd expect, instead she sounded... actually concerned, which got you to raise an eyebrow, wondering if she was for real.
"Who... who hurt you so badly that you got this frightened?" She then asked and your eyes widened, you had exposed yourself, but not in the way you were anticipating, and perhaps this was even worse.
"I know my sister's really bad, but she's like that to everyone... and she doesn't go so hard with anyone specifically" Bailey said as she let go of your wrists and slowly reached to grab your face with both hands, a motion at which you flinched by reflex, making her frown, yet she looked even more concerned "I feel it's somebody else... but who? Who else has hurt you so bad you react like this?" She said, grabbing you by the face as gently as she could and bringing you closer, as if she could peer into your very thoughts by looking at you hard enough in the eyes.
"I think there's something you're not telling, and I don't mean just me, this looks like it's something you've been hiding... Do... do you want to talk about it?"
'Crap!' You thought, Bailey had made you lower your guard so much that all the internal checks in your mind had failed, buckled under the overwhelming sensory inputs you got from her, revealing at least a glimpse of some of the real nasty stuff that you've been hiding, stuffed down somewhere in the deepest, darkest recesses of your mind... all the mental scars that the likes of Toxic Lily and Valentina inflicted upon you. You had done a pretty good job hiding all that mess from your friends and the people around you, because why burden other people that had their own, real problems with your own insignificant little struggles that even you knew were all in your head?
"I don't think it's a good idea to talk about that, and that doesn't even matter, it's not really a big deal. You don't have to worry about that" You said, but even you felt that it was half heartedly at best, either you were a very lousy liar or perhaps something else deeper down in your subconscious was betraying you.
"Of course I have to worry about you! Even if you're not my boyfriend, we're still friends, right?" She replied and you nodded, feeling slightly more at ease, you didn't flinch when she caressed your hair with one hand "You know... Lily sometimes talks about you"
"H-Huh?!" Your eyes widened in surprise.
"When she's not ranting about how much she hates you or that she wants to make you pay, she's mentioned some things"
"Like what?" You asked, since Toxic Lily never had any positive interactions with you, you were really curious what else she could possibly talk about.
"Well, she says that your friends aren't really your friends, at least some of them... that they're just keeping you around like a pet to show off" Bailey said "And she meant the girls, Jim and Pete may be quirky and a little pervy but they're not that bad, they're more like harmless clowns"
"Well, with friends like those, I might not even be a clown, but the entire circus" You said with a slight chuckle, which got Bailey to laugh cutely for a moment, before she remembered the current situation and frowned, poking your nose with an accusing finger.
"Blaise! This is serious!" She said, but couldn't stop herself from laughing some more "But that was a good one" She then took a moment to let the rest of that laughter out of her system before taking a deep breath, getting back to her concerned mood.
"Anyway, I've seen your friends and I don't know what to think for sure. Lily might have a point"
"Lily just speaks nonsense, she just holds some deep grudge against me and my friends since frickin kindergarten" You replied "I'm fine, if anything it's just Lily herself that's done some damage, but it's nothing too important"
"Hate to say this but I don't really believe that last part. You're hurt, but you don't wanna tell why or how" Bailey said, looking away for a moment as she gathered her own thoughts "Anyway, even if it's not with me, I think you should really talk to someone you trust about these things, but being honest, I'd love it if you gave me that level of trust" She said, pulling you even closer to her face.
"I just want to see you shine like you always do, but without having to hide that pain"
"A-Alright" You said, looking at the floor, or trying to, as Bailey's sizable chest blocked most of your view of it.
"So... about the other thing, this other girl you have feelings for... have you gotten anywhere with her?" She asked. You took a deep breath, knowing that trying to weasel out of that one was also out of the question, and you couldn't even be mad because she was just worried about you and being nice and kind... like she's always been to you, though you could do with some more less forwardness when it came to her advances, but eh, no one's perfect.
"Nope... as much as it hurts to say, I don't think I've gotten anywhere meaningful in all these years" You said.
"Years?" Bailey gasped and you realized you messed up once more. She then hugged you closer to her, pressing your chest against hers "I already said it before, but you know that I love you and I wouldn't like to see you burn yourself out chasing some unreachable goal" She then chuckled "You know, all this time I thought you had feelings for one of your friends. I didn't think you were chasing after some pretty senior like most guys"
"Wait, what?!" You raised an eyebrow again. But you were quick to realize why she drew such a conclusion "That's not what I-"
"Hey, I know that one's feelings can't change on a whim, and that I'm not exactly as pretty as the more popular girls... but I still think that if you just gave me one chance we could have something. I don't mind having to work a little harder to have you fall in love with me" She said, almost whispering into your ear, her warm breath giving you goosebumps all over your arm as it gently caressed you.
"Bailey..."
"Is this about my sister?" She said, anticipating a possible argument you may give, and something she's been sorely aware of since the very beginning. You knew that it was at least in part true, and while you really didn't want to break her heart, maybe telling the truth would help your case.
"In a way, yes" You said with a defeated sigh "Bailey, if we're together, Toxic Lily's going to turn our lives into such a hell that our current problems will look like a picnic in comparison" You expected that this would finally get her to stop, for both her sake and yours. However, she simply smiled in response, prompting you to give her a confused look "What?"
"I can finally protect you from her, or from anyone for that matter" Bailey said "If you let me, of course... but I'm not kidding, I found a way to protect you from anyone who might want to hurt you for real"
"Huh? But how?"
"You'll have to trust me on that one" She said with a playful wink "I promise that as my boyfriend, I will try my best to help you heal and to keep you safe from harm, whatever it might be, or whoever"
"I mean, not even someone like the Mayor could guarantee something like that" You said, but you saw the sheer intensity in her eyes, whatever it was, she was being fully sincere and confident on it. Maybe you should take this leap of faith? It wasn't like she'd ever done anything bad to you either, and even your mom and grandma Xóchitl had taught you that "some things happen for a reason" and that it was best to make the best of it... but then again, getting into a relationship with a girl you hadn't fallen in love yet, but she didn't even mind herself, and she was aware of it herself...
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May 12, 2023
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