The Spleen
copier
· original author:
kampus
Nothing eventful happened on the short trip to the spleen. All that can be heard is the humming of the train. Celly and Luna are seated far apart from one another, obviously still reeling in from their exchange moments ago. The sisters pretend to look away from each other while stealing the occasional glance when the other isn't watching. From the looks of their faces, there are signs that they are planning their next moves on how to one-up the other. You are amused by the sight; it's just rare to see Celestia and Luna being so petulant. But you got to admit that they look adorable acting like that. Hopefully this won't end with them sending one another to their respective celestial bodies. You look back at Twilight sitting next to you. You noticed her in deep thoughts with a somber look. Whatever is lingering on Twilight's mind is troubling her. But you can't tell what.

"Twilight, are you okay? Something seems to be bothering you since you talked to Celestia at the Liver Mall," you asked concernedly.

The purple alicorn popped out of her thought and looked at you puzzlingly.

"uh...It's nothing important. Just a daily briefing of the usual politics and diplomacy stuff," Twilight lied.

"I see...it must've been a real headache to follow all of those. I mean, Blueblood is already a pain in the flank; I can hardly imagine how you felt dealing with many more of those ponies everyday."

"Not really. I'm pretty used to those now. But diplomacy is an entirely different story. As a newly minted princess, I have to attend every meeting alongside with the Princess to learn about the inner workings of politics. So far, you got officials from other countries who followed ancient protocols dating before Princess Celestia and others who seek to take advantage of Equestria's economic dominance by giving us the short end of the stick. Really stressful when you think about it," Twilight commented.

"So is Celestia planning anything important lately?"

"Not that she told me about. From what I heard, there's gonna be some economic summit between the dragons and griffons real soon. But I'm fuzzy on the details," the purple princess answered with a half-truth.

Before you can ask another question, the train came to a halt as it slides into the Spleen Station. Celly was the first to stand up and take you all out onto the platform where she gave a description of the spleen..

"This is the Spleen. This area is charged with monitoring the Princess's body for any anomalies and automatically eliminate any potential threats both magical and chemical-based," Celly said, "You can say that this is the security system of the body, responsible for filtering blood for contaminants, detecting unfriendly spells, and tracking the prisoners held at the Heart Prison. If you all will come this way, you can get better idea of what I'm talking about."

You went with the group through a metallic doorway and into a large room equipped with several apparatus. One of them has a wall-sized display showing numbers and equations that you don't understand. The white letters flickered and rolled about around a map of Celestia, indicating unknown values for each body part. You tried to decipher the meaning behind it to no avail. The clip-clop of hoofsteps behind you indicated the arrival of a smiling Twilight, ready to flip on her 'bookworm mode' switch.

"The equation you see on there is the 'Starswirl's Magical Constant' and the Tramareon Principle of Force. Without going into the technical detail, those are measurements of the amount of magical distortion in a given space and the 'force' which you "push" your magic from your body. By watching these measurements, it is possible to anticipate the type of magic that a caster is about to use against you and initiate a counterspell," Twilight said.

You nodded at the new information. Your eyes fell on something even more interesting. A control panel with buttons and knobs is situated on a podium in front of display.

"Hey, Twilight. Any idea what does that do?" you said as you pointed toward them.

"Sure. The control panel is used to control the flow of magic through the Princess's body. Depending on the circumstance, it can be adjusted to give each organ equal amount of magical energy or concentrate them into specific areas like the horn to enhance the spell capability. More interesting, it can also switch on the cameras at the Heart Prison to keep an eye on the detainees. Celestia took me several times here before during my time at magic school to teach me the principle of balancing power."

"And why would you need that?"

"Long story short, back when I was taking the entrance exam for Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, a series of bizarre events and an explosion caused my magic to abruptly explode out at once. In the barrage of spells I barely had control over, I turned my parents into plants and burned the mane off one of the examiners. Celestia stepped in and used her power to redistribute my magic and restored order. Afterwards, the Princess noticed my magical potential as a filly and asked if I would like to study under her. A big yes later, I began my life as the protege of the Princess of Equestria."

"That's an interesting story," you said as you fidgeted with the control panel, "Any idea how you used this thing?"

"Umm...I don't think it's good idea to...OH MY CELESTIA! What have you done?" Twilight screeched abruptly.

"I just pressed the button marked "Sight Share". What's wrong?"

"THAT!" Twilight pointed to the screen.

When you turned around to view the screen, you see that it's depicting a first-person view of the Princess using her private bathroom. The sounds of something trickling sounded from the speaker. If that isn't awkward enough, her crotch and all its features are in plain sight and Celestia seems to singing a little tune to herself. The Princess even checked her Sun Cutie Marks with a wiggle.

"TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!" Twilight panicked, "Celly's gonna murder us if she sees this."

"Hey. What's the pro........," a familiar voice said then stopped. You turned back to find Celly turning deep crimson with eyes shrunken to a pinprick."

Yup, we're dead.

"Hahahahahahahaha", Luna laughed out loud as she rolled on the floor, "Dear sister, I didn't know that you sing like that while you're using the washroom. So priceless!!! And it's clear now who's got the better flank!"

Celly glared menacingly between you and the howling Luna before stomping toward the control panel to switch the screen off.

"I...think it's time we move on to our next destination, am I right?..." she gritted her teeth.

Luna is still howling with laughter as tears roll down her eyes.

You will definitely love what I have in store for you at the Bladder," Celly grinned ominously.
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June 2, 2023
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