Curse you Best Buy!
The Ravénous Café
chapter 9
by
copier
· original author:
fearboy
Jon scampered away from Inu-yasha. He kept looking back at the half-demon, afraid that he was going to get up and blow him in half. Usually violent customers never make it into the restaurant, something to do with the positive juju vibes management put in. Well, whatever was keeping the violent customers out wasn’t working tonight. Jon looked behind him one more time, thus causing him to miss Bunny walking in front of him carrying a huge tray. He hit the bunny girl from behind and fell back onto his behind. Bunny remained upright and even managed to not drop the jumbo tray.
“Hi Jon, where’d you come from?” Bunny chirped, acting like she had just noticed him. Her tray shook and Jon heard swearing underneath from the very unhappy meal that was about to be served.
“Bunny, we got a very hungry customer that will cut off my ear if I don’t bring him a shrunken Disney girl, please tell me we have one left.” Bunny tapped her chin and thought about it. Jon was on his hands and knees, beginning for a good answer from the dim waitress. He looked at Inu-yasha and saw he was sharpening up his butter knife with the tessaiga, turning the once dull blade into a weapon made for laceration.
“I got it!” Bunny cried out. Jon lit up like a Christmas tree; his furry angle had pulled him through. “That ear cutting thing was a reference to the movie ‘Reservoir Dogs’, right?”
“What?!” Jon screamed, unable to comprehend what Bunny was talking about. “Bunny have you gone crazy?”
“Crazy, like the guy from ‘Fight Club’, who had multiple personalities?” Bunny giggled girlishly. Jon was sweating bullets now, he could hear the sound of teeth mashing together from Inu-yasha. He needed to get one of those animated girls or he was going to have a six-foot blade scratch his prostate.
“Please Bunny, you got to help me, you’re my only hope!” Jon latched to her leg and started crying his eyes out. At the same time that he was weeping like a girl, Jon was slowly crawling behind the furry waitress, if Inu-yasha attacked, he could use her as a human/bunny shield.
“I know this one! I know it!” Bunny hyperventilated and waved her hand around like an overexcited child. “Princess Leia from the first 'Star Wars' movie said that. Did I get it?”
“If I say yes, will you help me keep from being ripped in two by Cujo?”
Bunny nodded quickly and Jon said, “Yes.”
“Yippee!” Bunny exclaimed and started jumping up and down. The top of the platter she was carrying fell over and Jon saw the meal/person that Bunny had been carrying. Hog-tied and naked was the reincarnation of Kikyo, the junior high girl with the miko powers and the furry enthusiast, Kagome. Jon’s eyes shot open and he fought down a scream. If Inu-yasha saw the girl he was crushing on in this position, he was a dead man. Turning around, and half expecting to see Inu-yasha coming towards him with his giant sword, Jon saw that Inu-yasha’s attention was focused on brooding. He hadn’t seen Kagome, yet. Sighing with relief, Jon turned back to Bunny and handed her the fallen top to the tray.
“Whoever ordered this, make sure they take her to a private booth, away from…” Jon checked over his shoulder again, “…prying eyes.”
“Rightieo Jon,” Bunny did with a mock salute. “Thanks again for getting me that DVD player and all those movies for Christmas from Best Buy. I’m finally able to understand all those pop culture references you use.” Jon’s right eye started to twitch. Next year, he’s getting her a coupon for Macys.
“By the way, here’s the last Disney girl. She was ordered by this guy named Tsume, but you can have her if you really want.” Bunny reached into her pocket and took out a tiny human girl. The shrunken girl was tossed into the air towards Jon, her hands and legs flailing around as she flew through the air. Jon caught her and stared down at the tiny human being. He recognized which Disney girl he was looking at immediately.
“Hi Jon, where’d you come from?” Bunny chirped, acting like she had just noticed him. Her tray shook and Jon heard swearing underneath from the very unhappy meal that was about to be served.
“Bunny, we got a very hungry customer that will cut off my ear if I don’t bring him a shrunken Disney girl, please tell me we have one left.” Bunny tapped her chin and thought about it. Jon was on his hands and knees, beginning for a good answer from the dim waitress. He looked at Inu-yasha and saw he was sharpening up his butter knife with the tessaiga, turning the once dull blade into a weapon made for laceration.
“I got it!” Bunny cried out. Jon lit up like a Christmas tree; his furry angle had pulled him through. “That ear cutting thing was a reference to the movie ‘Reservoir Dogs’, right?”
“What?!” Jon screamed, unable to comprehend what Bunny was talking about. “Bunny have you gone crazy?”
“Crazy, like the guy from ‘Fight Club’, who had multiple personalities?” Bunny giggled girlishly. Jon was sweating bullets now, he could hear the sound of teeth mashing together from Inu-yasha. He needed to get one of those animated girls or he was going to have a six-foot blade scratch his prostate.
“Please Bunny, you got to help me, you’re my only hope!” Jon latched to her leg and started crying his eyes out. At the same time that he was weeping like a girl, Jon was slowly crawling behind the furry waitress, if Inu-yasha attacked, he could use her as a human/bunny shield.
“I know this one! I know it!” Bunny hyperventilated and waved her hand around like an overexcited child. “Princess Leia from the first 'Star Wars' movie said that. Did I get it?”
“If I say yes, will you help me keep from being ripped in two by Cujo?”
Bunny nodded quickly and Jon said, “Yes.”
“Yippee!” Bunny exclaimed and started jumping up and down. The top of the platter she was carrying fell over and Jon saw the meal/person that Bunny had been carrying. Hog-tied and naked was the reincarnation of Kikyo, the junior high girl with the miko powers and the furry enthusiast, Kagome. Jon’s eyes shot open and he fought down a scream. If Inu-yasha saw the girl he was crushing on in this position, he was a dead man. Turning around, and half expecting to see Inu-yasha coming towards him with his giant sword, Jon saw that Inu-yasha’s attention was focused on brooding. He hadn’t seen Kagome, yet. Sighing with relief, Jon turned back to Bunny and handed her the fallen top to the tray.
“Whoever ordered this, make sure they take her to a private booth, away from…” Jon checked over his shoulder again, “…prying eyes.”
“Rightieo Jon,” Bunny did with a mock salute. “Thanks again for getting me that DVD player and all those movies for Christmas from Best Buy. I’m finally able to understand all those pop culture references you use.” Jon’s right eye started to twitch. Next year, he’s getting her a coupon for Macys.
“By the way, here’s the last Disney girl. She was ordered by this guy named Tsume, but you can have her if you really want.” Bunny reached into her pocket and took out a tiny human girl. The shrunken girl was tossed into the air towards Jon, her hands and legs flailing around as she flew through the air. Jon caught her and stared down at the tiny human being. He recognized which Disney girl he was looking at immediately.
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June 2
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