Surrounded from all sides by hunger-crazed ninjas, Naruto could do nothing else but try and keep out of their grasp. He backed away slowly from one person, only to move to the side to avoid another. They could be on him in a second if they wanted to, but all of them were moving slowly. They lumbered towards him, arms struck out, trying to paw the delicious blond boy.

“Hurry up,” Naruto hissed to Kameko. The Goddess didn’t take any notice of him, she was far to preoccupied drawing the energy from Sasuke and Jiraiya to notice Naruto tiny voice. The glow around her grew brighter, lighting up the night sky. She murmured a chant under her breath, helping her direct the power outwards to heal Naruto’s corrupt chakra. Energy flowed through her body, mixing together to create the antidote for Naruto’s problem. She carefully exerted her power through the energy bubbling up in her immortal soul. She had to do this right or it would have no effect on Naruto, but she had to hurry, Naruto’s time was running short.

The circle around Naruto drew smaller and smaller. The hungry faces loomed over Naruto, grunting and slobbering at the sight of him. Naruto looked up a final time at Kameko, his time was up, they would have him any second now. He closed his eyes, praying that digestion wouldn’t be as horrible as he imagined. Just as one of the hundreds of stalkers was about to reach him, Kameko’s hand came down towards him. It glowed brightly, illuminating the darkness. Naruto had never seen anything as beautiful as the Goddess glimmering hand. It reached towards Naruto and he opened his arms up to accept her hand.

Then she flicked him.

Naruto was thrown through the crowd by the flick of her finger, coming to a stop when he crashed into a bolder a few hundred feet away. Groaning, he cracked his eyes open and gazed far above him at Kameko. She was smiling triumphantly. Naruto saw it right away, the red chakra of the Kybuki was battling against blue chakra around Naruto’s body. He watched the energy fight over his body, both energies trying to envelope him completely. They pushed against each other, pushing the other forward, before falling back. Slowly, Naruto watched mutely, as the energies blended together into a purple chakra. The new purple chakra enveloped Naruto and then receded back into his body. Blinking several times, Naruto wondered if the ritual worked.

“Oh My God, what are we going?” Sakura screamed. The pink haired ninja turned green in disgust at the realization that she was about to eat Naruto. Everyone present felt the same feeling as his or her mind returned. Several people nearly retched at how close they had come to eating the blond ninja. Naruto smiled, the look of horror on everyone’s face was the most beautiful sight Naruto had ever seen.

“Naruto!”

Out of the crowd raced Hinata, the first stalker Naruto had run into. Tears ran down her cheeks as she ran as fast as she could to Naruto. She came to a screeching halt before the sitting boy and dropped to her knees with her head bowed.

“Forgive me, Naruto. I would never hurt you, I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s all right, really,” Naruto insisted. He held no grudge against anyone here, it wasn’t their fault this happened. He blamed that damn fox and her corrupt chakra. If not for that, none of this would of happened.

“No Naruto, it’s not all right. I nearly ate you. I need to make it up to you somehow.” Hinata lifted her head, her tears gone and replaced with big loving eyes. She smiled fondly at Naruto. “And I think I know how.” Her hand went to her coat, slowly she started to pull her coat off, and exposing the tiny shirt she was wearing underneath. Slowly, she undid the buttons of her shirt allowing Naruto to get a glimpse at her breasts. Naruto didn’t say anything. If Hinata wanted to make up for trying to kill him, who was he to argue?

“Naruto, I’m so sorry!” Turning his head sharply, Naruto saw Sakura kneeling at his side, gripping his arm. Naruto became dizzy when he felt the side of his arm pressed against her bosom. “Please, let ME make it up to you.” Naruto nodded inattentively. Who cared if Sakura had been with a few other guys? It just meant she had a lot of experience.

“Oh Naruto, you’re even sexier then Sasuke,” Ino cried, her shirt already removed. Naruto’s eyes widened at the topless blond girl, when had Ino started being so forward?

“Naruto, would you like to see how I handle your weapon?” Ten-Ten asked innocently, with anything but innocent intentions in mind. Naruto grinned widely. This was turning out awesome. Who knew that guilt would make girls so horny?

“No, let a real woman show you how it’s done!” Tsunade ripped her robe open, display the two things Naruto never thought he’d ever see. Naruto’s jaw dropped at the sight of the Hokage’s rack. Damn, and here he thought Tsunade had gone through menopause a decade ago. This wasn’t so bad, as long as she kept her transformation up.

While Naruto stared at his new harem, Sasuke jumped off Kameko’s hand and walked towards him. Naruto looked past his newfound harem and glared at his old rival. The tension between the two boys ended when Sasuke tore his shirt off.

“Make me you’re bitch, Dope.” Naruto opened his mouth to scream, but found his Hinata’s breasts rubbing in his face before he could utter a word. The other girls joined her, grinding their bodies against Naruto and moaning wantonly. When Sasuke joined them, Naruto pushed them aside and started running. He didn’t get far before all the other once stalkers surrounded him.

“Don’t you want to try doggy style?” Kiba barked lustfully.

“How about some cushion for the pushing?” Choji asked.

“I’ll be the bottom, being on top is too troublesome,” Shikamaru managed to say lazily, but also hotly.

“The fire of youth burns inside me…. in my pants,” Lee says while grabbing his crotch.

“Come with me Naruto, I’ll serve you ramen….” said Ayame, the waitress from Ichiraku Ramen Bar. Naruto briefly considered taking her up on her offer, before she added, “…. Right off my body”

“What the hell is going on!?” Naruto screamed as everyone either made comments about having sex with him or started doing lewd things. Naruto shuddered as he looked up at the still monstrous Garaa. He still looked crazy and was drooling, but his sand tentacles were now more phalluses in shape. Great, Garaa was now a tentacle rape monster.

“Naruto!” looking up at Kameko, the woman gazed back at him panting. “It’s the chakra! I couldn’t get rid of the Kybuki’s mating chakra, so I just uncorrupted it so people wouldn’t want to eat you. However, I like, totally wasn’t able to stop the mating chakra from taking hold. You’re sending out sex chakra to everyone around you."

The horror dawned on Naruto. The mating chakra was still around him. Only, instead of making people hungry, it was doing it’s original purpose, making everyone want to sex him up. He had to put an end to the mating chakra right now, before he’s literally screwed.

“Kameko! What are we going to do?”

The goddess smiled down at Naruto, but it wasn’t a happy smile. Her smile matched everyone else’s around Naruto.

“Like, ever done a deity?” The Goddess licked her lips and Naruto backed away. This was so bad. Everyone wanted to screw him. He had to get away before this turned into an orgy. Behind him, Sasuke sneaked up slowly

“Got you’re pants,” Sasuke giggled and pried Naruto’s pants down and off his legs. The Emo boy grinned sinisterly. “Nice froggy boxers, Dope”

Everyone started dog piling on top of Naruto. Clothes were ripped off, bodies were grinded on top of bodies and at the very bottom, Naruto screamed, “Nooooooo!”

Off in the corner, the writer of ‘Make Out Parodies’ was writing franticly in his notebook.

“I always wanted to try Yaoi,” he cackled as he penned the title for his next book, Fox Boy: Ninja of a Thousand Lays.
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June 2
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