A Fistfull of Bats
Comic Vore, GTS/GT, Shrinking, Unbirth
chapter 26
by
copier
· original author:
erik
After eating an expansive meal at Wayne Manor, Bat-Mite had a much bigger belly than usual. Instead of conjuring up his own food the number one fan of Batman had insisted that Alfred cook the meal. A bit reluctantly Alfred had agreed with the assistance of Barbara. Barbara had learned all about Bat-Mite from both Alfred and Bruce himself. From what Barbara had learned about the imp that dressed up as Batman he didn't need to eat so she was a bit confused as to why Bat-Mite had insisted in having such a large meal. Bat-Mite himself had told Barbara a little about his little adventures he had with Bruce during the meal.
During the meal Bruce had made himself scarce. Later, Barbara found out that Bruce had been trying to reach the Justice League to no avail. He didn't even suspect that Bat-Mite was to blame for the communication mishap.
Now that the meal was finally over -- it had taken a ridiculous 40 minutes for the imp to finish the meal -- Barbara decided to watch TV for a change instead of thinking about the odd little fan from the fifth dimension. She had eaten just a smidgen of the food that made up Bat-Mite's feast. After the grand meal, Barbara had fallen asleep in front of the TV.
*****
The sun beat down on Barbara as she made her way towards the town on the horizon. The horse she was on moved at a steady pace. Barbara's face was partially obscured by the wide-brimmed hat she wore. Her clothes wouldn't be out of place in some old western movie.
That's when Barbara noticed that her surroundings were.... a little animated. It was as if she was in a cartoon or something but that was just nuts.
She rode into the town that was named Dry Lake. The town looked like a stereotypical Western town; a single dirt road, lots of buildings and a sheriff's office that had a "help wanted" sign posted on the closed door. Five or six buildings past the sheriff's office was the saloon of the town that was named the "Foghorn Saloon". Barbara took a moment to look around to see that the town was apparently deserted. Hitching up her horse in front of the saloon, Barbara climbed down on her horse and headed inside the saloon.
The door of the saloon had a wanted poster for " Calamity Sam". Barbara did a double take when she recognized the face of Yosemite Sam. That made her hesitate before entering the saloon.
The saloon wasn't empty. It was filled with people. As Barbara entered the saloon the piano music suddenly stopped and everybody in the saloon looked at Barbara. The silence lasted for nearly a minute before everything went back to normal.
Barbara surveyed the saloon before making her way towards the bar. The bartender was none other than Foghorn Leghorn dressed in clothes and a cowboy hat. He nodded at Barbara as she sat at the bar.
"Ah say what's your poison little missy?" asked Foghorn, speaking in a strong southern drawl even for him.
"I'm looking for work in this hamlet" replied Barbara.
"Ah say, I mean ah say, we sure need a sheriff 'round these parts" said Foghorn. "the last one we had just up and disappeared"
"That's that we need," said a voice from down the bar. Barbara looked to see the speaker was a man dressed in grey clothing that vaguely looked like a civil war uniform. The man had a hideously scarred face that strongly reminded Barbara of Two-Face. The man eyed Barbara after taking a long drink from the glass in front of him before speaking again, "a female sheriff"
"Now don't, ah say, don't you be causin trouble in my saloon, Jonah" said Foghorn who glared down at Jonah.
"What a strange dream..." mumbled Barbara.
"I'm afraid this isn't a dream, Barbara"
Barbara turned to see someone else had entered the saloon; it was Bruce. He wore all black clothing. Just like when Barbara had entered the saloon, it all went silent when Bruce entered. By the time Bruce had sat next to Barbara the saloon was set in motion again.
"Bruce?"
"Does this feel like a dream to you?" asked Bruce.
"Noo..." said Barbara now realizing the truth in Bruce's words. This place definitely felt like a real place. But that didn't make sense. Characters from Looney Tunes weren't real....and yet...
"This is probably Bat-Mite's idea of after-dinner entertainment" said Bruce, signaling for Barbara to sit with him at an unoccupied table.
"You mean he's watching us from the mansion?" asked Barbara as she and Bruce sat at a table in a corner.
"No, he's probably somewhere around in this town" said Bruce as he slowly surveyed the saloon. A poker game caught his attention that was happening close to the piano. The piano player was a nondescript woman with slightly unkempt hair.
"And he can just teleport you to....be in a cartoon?" asked Barbara.
"He can do pretty much anything" nodded Bruce.
"So..... " said Barbara as she thought about what subject to bring up. "Bat-Mite....is he...."
Barbara never got to finish her question as the saloon door opened and Calamity Sam walked in. Sam was just a hair above five feet tall but otherwise exactly looked Yosemite Sam; he had his trademark red mustache and wearing his usual hat. At each hip Sam wore a revolver. The saloon went quiet as Sam made his way to the bar and started a quiet conversation with Foghorn that Barbara couldn't hear. A moment later the Tasmanian Devil entered the saloon wearing a hat that had a bite out of it. Tazz surveyed the saloon before going over to Sam.
"So...are we here to beat up those two?" mumbled Barbara.
"If I know my Westerns," said Bruce slowly. "this is where a mysterious stranger shows up to deal with the outlaws"
"We're not in a Western" pointed out Barbara.
"I see we got us some newcomers over here" said Sam coming over to the table where Bruce and Barbara were sitting at, followed by Tazz. Sam sat at a chair opposite Bruce while Tazz just stood a little away from the table.
"You got a problem with newcomers?" asked Barbara in a pretty convincing southern accent. Bruce looked sidelong at Barbara while Sam glanced at her, and said "Not at all as long as you understand one thing: I own this town, along with my partner over there" he motioned towards Tazz.
"I reckon that ain't the truth" said a voice from almost directly behind Barbara. She turned to see that the speaker was Jonah. Barbara also noted that the saloon was now empty save for the people at the table.
"Well, if it ain't Jonah Hex," said Sam. "finally tracked me down I see"
"Weren't no problem trackin' you down" replied Jonah. "It's like you were just begging to be caught"
.. "You two met before?" asked Barbara, hoping she sounded casual.
"I ran into Sam here about two weeks ago" said Jonah. "he was hiding out in a shallow cave somewhere up north a ways. I offered to bring him in alive but he didn't agree. Managed to take out one of his boys... though not the one he has now. He got me good too. Took one in the arm"
"Wanna take this outside?" asked Bruce.
"I'm in a generous mood today" said Sam "let's play a couple hands of poker for the town"
"Alright, you're on" said Jonah. "whoever wins most at ten hands"
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June 1
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