You settle back into the cozy fabric of Brittney’s jacket and hope that their shopping spree will be over soon. Just as you’re about to fall back asleep, Brittney’s giant hand slithers in and scoops you out. She gently places you on the small shelf in the changing room. You see the titaness wearing a fair of designer jeans and a bright pink crop top with a pocket protector. You rub your eyes and look at Brittney with an annoyed expression.

“Awww did I wake up from your nap? I’m sorry little one, but I like, need a second opinion on this outfit. I like it but I may look too like, girly” she says smiling down at you.

You groan. She definitely didn’t need any help coming across as a girly girl. Still, you think back to when your mom made you go clothes shopping with her. The easiest way to end the ordeal was just to say she looked great. You take a deep breath and force a smile.

“I think you look very nice in that. It really looks good on you!” you say, feigning interest.

“Omg really? Thank you! I’ll totally buy this outfit then. Now I just need to try on the rest!” says Brittney excitedly.

Your heat sinks a bit. But still at least she’s made one decision.

“Great but before you do, I really need t…”

“Oh my God! I just had like, the best idea! I can make two tiny holes in my pocket protector and turn into a holster! That way I can like, carry you close to my heart!” Squeals Brittney happily as a beaming smile forms across her face.

Your eyes grow wide and your face turns red at the humiliating prospect. Not only does it seem impossible to try to get either one of the girls to listen to you, but it’s already looking like Brittney is starting to see you as her pet. You can only imagine how annoying and humiliating it would be for you if had to spend the rest of your life with either one of these kind but ditzy and overly girly girls.

“Brittney for God sake please listen to me!” you cry in growing desperation.

How does Brittney respond?

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January 13
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