Tom stared at the remote, sweat prickling on his palms. His friends were now grinding in a hot tub, very much enjoying their stolen avatars. The other contestants were beginning to circle, confused by the sudden break in the script.

 

“This is so stupid,” he muttered. “I’m not doing this.”

 

He sat back.

 

Then glanced at the screen.

 

Then at Jordan’s phone, buzzing again: Seriously, come in! It’s insane in here. Just pick someone fun!

 

Tom sighed, snatched up the remote, and aimed it toward the screen. He didn’t want to be some meathead or bikini girl. He spun the channel wheel slightly, hunting for a side character—maybe the snarky bartender who occasionally offered advice in cutaway scenes. Someone with a brain.

 

He spotted her—Max, the bartender, mixing drinks and rolling his eyes while Diego (Zach) loudly described his “protein-forward romance strategy.”

 

“Perfect,” Tom muttered. He pointed the remote and pressed the button.

 

But just before it clicked, Diego lunged across the frame, splashing water in front of the lens and blocking Max from view. The screen pixelated. The remote clicked anyway.

 

Pop.

 

When Tom’s eyes opened, everything was...off.

 

The world smelled like strawberry lip gloss and chlorine. He was seated on a lounge chair. Thin straps were digging into his shoulders. A camera crew hovered just out of frame. And his chest felt very different.

 

He looked down.

 

“Oh god. No, no, no…”

 

His nails were painted a glossy pink. His body was tanned, toned, and barely covered by a bright green thong bikini. A producer off-camera held up a cue card: “TIFFANY, confessional time!”

 

He scrambled to his feet, nearly tripping in six-inch wedges.

 

“I was aiming for the bartender!” he squeaked—but the voice that came out was high-pitched and sultry. Tiffany’s voice.

 

He was Tiffany. The ditzy, overly emotional contestant who had cried three times during episode one and once during a smoothie tasting.

 

Cut to confessional. A camera zoomed in as he sat awkwardly on the plush bench.

 

“So, Tiffany,” the producer prompted. “What’s it like seeing Diego flirt with Taylor after what happened last night?”

 

Tom blinked. “What… happened last night?”

 

The producer raised an eyebrow. “You two hooked up. Jacuzzi. Moonlight. Ringing any bells?”

 

The camera zoomed closer.

 

Tom swallowed. “Um… I feel… deeply… betrayed?”

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June 10, 2025
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