Married to a Real Ass - Part 2
One Foot Tall Fiancé
chapter 37
by
copier
· original author:
worstfailure
NO IT'S NOT OKAY! IT'LL NEVER BE OKAY! NOT UNTIL YOU'RE AS FAR AWAY FROM THIS MONSTER AS HUMANLY POSSI--wait, she said what now?
As her words sunk in, you stopped struggling. Your fiancee? Here? Cassie?!
"There we go," Tara said soothingly. "Nice and calm. She's waiting for you. But first there's something I need to say to you."
"That I'm a short pathetic loser? That seeing me in pain is the greatest joy you have in life? That no promise I ever made to you is worth a damn thing because you're the biggest liar on the planet? That I'm the stupidest person in the universe for ever trusting you or thinking you cared about me?! Well guess what? I ALREADY KNOW ALL THAT!" Of course, that was just what you wanted to say. When you tried to form the words they only came out as ragged gasps as it was taking time for your voice to come back. But just thinking it made you angry enough that your body started to struggle again. What were you doing hesitating? Cassie isn't here! It's another lie! A TRAP!
"Jake... I'm sorry."
Once again the shock of what she said made you stop in your tracks.
Tara sighed deeply. "This isn't easy for me, Jake. Admitting that I'm wrong. But your mom and I have been doing a lot of talking over the past couple weeks and she made me realize something. What I'm doing isn't right. Look, I can't deny I love squashing you. It's honestly my favorite thing in the world, but... you're a person with your own life. Hell, you're my nephew! You don't deserve this. Being locked away inside my fat ass forever and me just going on like nothing happened? And then just dropping that bombshell on your mother and acting like I wasn't changing her life forever by taking away her only son? I didn't even give her a chance to process any of this, let alone let her say goodbye to you! This has all been wrong. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart... I'm sorry for this."
This was it. The words you wanted to hear most in the entire world. Your aunt coming to her senses and letting you free... There was no fucking way this wasn't a trap.
"I understand if you don't believe me. After everything you've been through, I can't blame you, but I just want you to know I've finally realized how wrong this is. I mean, for god's sake, I forced you to make a promise nearly twenty-years ago and I expect you to live with the consequences when you broke it by accident? I guess I just let what I wanted get in the way of my judgement. I mean, you were going to be married, I can't let you miss out on that. And your poor mom, so sad to see you go. I couldn't live with myself if I made her miserable. It's time I made things right."
Trap. Trap. TRAP.
"That's why I have a surprise to make it up to you! I've talked with your fiancee and she wants get married! Today!"
TRAP! Your brain screamed it at the top of its lungs, using every survival instinct at its disposal to get you to listen to it, to recognize the pattern Tara had used time and again to offer you hope just so she could destroy it. But there had always been an organ more impulsive than your brain. Your heart. And it was your heart that finally got you to speak.
"Cassie?"
It was weak, but your aunt heard it.
"Oh thank god! I was worried you might've lost your voice forever! We at least want you able to say, "I do.""
"Where... is she?" you said, your voice raspy. How long had it been since you'd drunk water? Drunk--or rather absorbed--anything but ass sweat?
"Your fiancee's here, Jake," Tara said. "She's waiting for you. I had a long conversation with her. She seemed hesitant, maybe even a bit shy, but deep down we both knew that there was no way she'd say no. She loves you! She needs you! And she can't bare to be apart from you for even a second! The two of you are destined to be together forever!"
Your brain was still screaming the word trap, but a faraway look came over your face as you imagined you and Cassie. Together forever.
"So, what do you say?" Tara asked. "Do you want to get married, Jake?"
Tears formed in your eyes. Your heart was pounding. It wasn't too late. You had another chance at love.
"I do," you said.
Silence. Several seconds worth. Then your own voice responded, "I do." And your aunt laughed, a belly laugh that caused her to let go of her cheeks and set them jiggling on top of you. You were in a daze as she used one hand to pry the cheek you were on back again and waved her phone in front of you so you could see the recording she'd made.
"Oh god, twerp," Tara said between giggles. "This is the third time you've fallen for this! How dumb are you?!"
You felt like a cartoon character who'd just taken several steps off a cliff and only now paused in midair to look down. What have I done?
"You've fallen into a FUCKING TRAP!" your brain screamed back at you.
"Confused?" Tara asked nastily. "Why am I not surprised? See, I wasn't lying when we talked. I said it was wrong of me to just lock you in this big ol butt of mine like it was nothing. But it isn't. It's huge! The culmination of years of hard work! How could I just lock you in there without a public celebration to cement my ultimate victory? Besides, your mom needed time to grieve, and this will give her a chance to give you a proper sendoff. And there was one more thing I was being honest about. You do deserve to be married. And your fiancee is right... HERE!"
Tara swiped on her phone from the recording to the most horrifying picture imaginable. Your Aunt Tara... in a wedding dress. Specifically, your grandmother's wedding dress. It had clearly been let out to accommodate your aunt's much more ample figure, but there was no mistaking it from the one your mother kept in the attic.
"OH GOD NO!" you screamed.
"Well that's awfully rude, pipsqueak," Tara huffed. "A catch like me doesn't come along very often you know. You're lucky I'm still on the market. Or, rather, my butt is, since she's the one you're marrying. Make no mistake, even if my name's on the paperwork, the one you'll really be spending a life of wedded bliss with is this fine piece of ass."
"This can't be happening!" you sobbed, the tears of happiness that had formed now running down your cheeks in absolute horror.
"Oh, but it is. In fact, Cassie is the one who gave me the idea."
"What?!"
"Yep, she wrote a lovely note encouraging you to marry my ass instead. She even gave me her blessing with this."
Now she switched the hand she was using to keep her butt cheeks pulled apart to flash an unmistakable diamond ring in front of you. It was impossible. It was the one you'd bought Cassie. It had cost you every cent you had, but you didn't care because it was the ultimate symbol of your love for her. To see it on your aunt's finger felt like an attack on your very soul. She had to be lying! Cassie would never write that, she'd never allow this! But no matter how much you wished to deny it, you couldn't answer a simple question: how else had your aunt gotten her hands on that ring?
"You know, the ceremony would've gone on either way, but I'm glad I got you on tape saying, "I do." It'll be just the perfect thing to put any of your mom's lingering doubts to rest."
"You're crazy!" you shouted. "No minister will let this happen!"
"There's one," Tara said slyly. "But you'll find out in due time. For now, I need to get ready. The ceremony's in an hour and I need to squeeze myself back in ma's old dress. I swear that woman was the tiniest woman on the planet. Oh! Maybe we just figured out where you got your height from, pipsqueak? Or should I say... hubby?"
The tears were falling freely now and you pleaded like a man being dragged to the electric chair. "Please no! Please, please NO!"
Your cries were cut off as Tara pulled back up her underwear and clenched tight. She smiled and hummed the wedding march to herself as she called in your mother to help her get into her wedding dress. The last time Tara had gotten married it was when she dragged her dweeb of a boyfriend to Vegas and convinced him to elope. She'd made these plans after it became clear he was going to be a very rich man. It was nicer this time. She got to pick out the venue, the cake, the music, and her sister was here for her. And, best of all, her "husband" was essentially a toy she'd get to torment to her heart's content. That beat marrying a rich dude any day of the week.
Tara looked at herself in the mirror. The dress strained to contain her assets. Next to her, her sister was blowing her nose loudly. She been blubbering for the past two weeks ever since Tara had first told her, her idea, but this time Tara didn't mind. Now her sister was crying tears of joy at her son living in Tara's butt forever instead of tears of sadness. This ceremony would be a nice little bow on everything.
"You look like an angel from heaven," your mother said. "My son is so lucky to have you."
"And I'm lucky to have him," Tara said, rubbing her cheeks together.
There came a knock at the door and your mother went to answer it. A second later she came back.
"It's the Minister. She'd like to talk with you."
Tara's smile got wider. "Let her in."
The door opened and in glided a beautiful woman with a cool smile and commanding presence whose curves could be made out even under her black judge's gown. Tara clenched her cheeks tight. She didn't want Jake to know anything yet.
"Tara Bigg, I presume?" the minister said.
"Kimberly Smalls!" Tara laughed. "Finally we meet in the flesh!"
As her words sunk in, you stopped struggling. Your fiancee? Here? Cassie?!
"There we go," Tara said soothingly. "Nice and calm. She's waiting for you. But first there's something I need to say to you."
"That I'm a short pathetic loser? That seeing me in pain is the greatest joy you have in life? That no promise I ever made to you is worth a damn thing because you're the biggest liar on the planet? That I'm the stupidest person in the universe for ever trusting you or thinking you cared about me?! Well guess what? I ALREADY KNOW ALL THAT!" Of course, that was just what you wanted to say. When you tried to form the words they only came out as ragged gasps as it was taking time for your voice to come back. But just thinking it made you angry enough that your body started to struggle again. What were you doing hesitating? Cassie isn't here! It's another lie! A TRAP!
"Jake... I'm sorry."
Once again the shock of what she said made you stop in your tracks.
Tara sighed deeply. "This isn't easy for me, Jake. Admitting that I'm wrong. But your mom and I have been doing a lot of talking over the past couple weeks and she made me realize something. What I'm doing isn't right. Look, I can't deny I love squashing you. It's honestly my favorite thing in the world, but... you're a person with your own life. Hell, you're my nephew! You don't deserve this. Being locked away inside my fat ass forever and me just going on like nothing happened? And then just dropping that bombshell on your mother and acting like I wasn't changing her life forever by taking away her only son? I didn't even give her a chance to process any of this, let alone let her say goodbye to you! This has all been wrong. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart... I'm sorry for this."
This was it. The words you wanted to hear most in the entire world. Your aunt coming to her senses and letting you free... There was no fucking way this wasn't a trap.
"I understand if you don't believe me. After everything you've been through, I can't blame you, but I just want you to know I've finally realized how wrong this is. I mean, for god's sake, I forced you to make a promise nearly twenty-years ago and I expect you to live with the consequences when you broke it by accident? I guess I just let what I wanted get in the way of my judgement. I mean, you were going to be married, I can't let you miss out on that. And your poor mom, so sad to see you go. I couldn't live with myself if I made her miserable. It's time I made things right."
Trap. Trap. TRAP.
"That's why I have a surprise to make it up to you! I've talked with your fiancee and she wants get married! Today!"
TRAP! Your brain screamed it at the top of its lungs, using every survival instinct at its disposal to get you to listen to it, to recognize the pattern Tara had used time and again to offer you hope just so she could destroy it. But there had always been an organ more impulsive than your brain. Your heart. And it was your heart that finally got you to speak.
"Cassie?"
It was weak, but your aunt heard it.
"Oh thank god! I was worried you might've lost your voice forever! We at least want you able to say, "I do.""
"Where... is she?" you said, your voice raspy. How long had it been since you'd drunk water? Drunk--or rather absorbed--anything but ass sweat?
"Your fiancee's here, Jake," Tara said. "She's waiting for you. I had a long conversation with her. She seemed hesitant, maybe even a bit shy, but deep down we both knew that there was no way she'd say no. She loves you! She needs you! And she can't bare to be apart from you for even a second! The two of you are destined to be together forever!"
Your brain was still screaming the word trap, but a faraway look came over your face as you imagined you and Cassie. Together forever.
"So, what do you say?" Tara asked. "Do you want to get married, Jake?"
Tears formed in your eyes. Your heart was pounding. It wasn't too late. You had another chance at love.
"I do," you said.
Silence. Several seconds worth. Then your own voice responded, "I do." And your aunt laughed, a belly laugh that caused her to let go of her cheeks and set them jiggling on top of you. You were in a daze as she used one hand to pry the cheek you were on back again and waved her phone in front of you so you could see the recording she'd made.
"Oh god, twerp," Tara said between giggles. "This is the third time you've fallen for this! How dumb are you?!"
You felt like a cartoon character who'd just taken several steps off a cliff and only now paused in midair to look down. What have I done?
"You've fallen into a FUCKING TRAP!" your brain screamed back at you.
"Confused?" Tara asked nastily. "Why am I not surprised? See, I wasn't lying when we talked. I said it was wrong of me to just lock you in this big ol butt of mine like it was nothing. But it isn't. It's huge! The culmination of years of hard work! How could I just lock you in there without a public celebration to cement my ultimate victory? Besides, your mom needed time to grieve, and this will give her a chance to give you a proper sendoff. And there was one more thing I was being honest about. You do deserve to be married. And your fiancee is right... HERE!"
Tara swiped on her phone from the recording to the most horrifying picture imaginable. Your Aunt Tara... in a wedding dress. Specifically, your grandmother's wedding dress. It had clearly been let out to accommodate your aunt's much more ample figure, but there was no mistaking it from the one your mother kept in the attic.
"OH GOD NO!" you screamed.
"Well that's awfully rude, pipsqueak," Tara huffed. "A catch like me doesn't come along very often you know. You're lucky I'm still on the market. Or, rather, my butt is, since she's the one you're marrying. Make no mistake, even if my name's on the paperwork, the one you'll really be spending a life of wedded bliss with is this fine piece of ass."
"This can't be happening!" you sobbed, the tears of happiness that had formed now running down your cheeks in absolute horror.
"Oh, but it is. In fact, Cassie is the one who gave me the idea."
"What?!"
"Yep, she wrote a lovely note encouraging you to marry my ass instead. She even gave me her blessing with this."
Now she switched the hand she was using to keep her butt cheeks pulled apart to flash an unmistakable diamond ring in front of you. It was impossible. It was the one you'd bought Cassie. It had cost you every cent you had, but you didn't care because it was the ultimate symbol of your love for her. To see it on your aunt's finger felt like an attack on your very soul. She had to be lying! Cassie would never write that, she'd never allow this! But no matter how much you wished to deny it, you couldn't answer a simple question: how else had your aunt gotten her hands on that ring?
"You know, the ceremony would've gone on either way, but I'm glad I got you on tape saying, "I do." It'll be just the perfect thing to put any of your mom's lingering doubts to rest."
"You're crazy!" you shouted. "No minister will let this happen!"
"There's one," Tara said slyly. "But you'll find out in due time. For now, I need to get ready. The ceremony's in an hour and I need to squeeze myself back in ma's old dress. I swear that woman was the tiniest woman on the planet. Oh! Maybe we just figured out where you got your height from, pipsqueak? Or should I say... hubby?"
The tears were falling freely now and you pleaded like a man being dragged to the electric chair. "Please no! Please, please NO!"
Your cries were cut off as Tara pulled back up her underwear and clenched tight. She smiled and hummed the wedding march to herself as she called in your mother to help her get into her wedding dress. The last time Tara had gotten married it was when she dragged her dweeb of a boyfriend to Vegas and convinced him to elope. She'd made these plans after it became clear he was going to be a very rich man. It was nicer this time. She got to pick out the venue, the cake, the music, and her sister was here for her. And, best of all, her "husband" was essentially a toy she'd get to torment to her heart's content. That beat marrying a rich dude any day of the week.
Tara looked at herself in the mirror. The dress strained to contain her assets. Next to her, her sister was blowing her nose loudly. She been blubbering for the past two weeks ever since Tara had first told her, her idea, but this time Tara didn't mind. Now her sister was crying tears of joy at her son living in Tara's butt forever instead of tears of sadness. This ceremony would be a nice little bow on everything.
"You look like an angel from heaven," your mother said. "My son is so lucky to have you."
"And I'm lucky to have him," Tara said, rubbing her cheeks together.
There came a knock at the door and your mother went to answer it. A second later she came back.
"It's the Minister. She'd like to talk with you."
Tara's smile got wider. "Let her in."
The door opened and in glided a beautiful woman with a cool smile and commanding presence whose curves could be made out even under her black judge's gown. Tara clenched her cheeks tight. She didn't want Jake to know anything yet.
"Tara Bigg, I presume?" the minister said.
"Kimberly Smalls!" Tara laughed. "Finally we meet in the flesh!"
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March 28, 2025
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