It was stupid to play pussy with these unreadable behemoths. Standing in the middle of the living room was going to get you killed for sure! You quickly dart back onto the smooth tile of the kitchen floor and plan your next excursion. Eventually, Your roommates would eat dinner together especially since Frank seemed to be a very traditional 'family man' and valued that kind of thing. Your stash under the fridge was minimalist, to say the least, apart from some well-rationed food crumbs, you had one thumb tack and one shabby paperclip to your name. Folding the flimsy metal wire tightly around your waist, you fashion a makeshift harness with the sharp ends of the paperclip acting like ice picks that could pierce the soft wood of the table and help you climb. Suited up and with arms wrapped around your thumb tack, your first steps outside the fridge were swimmingly, and you felt like a true nomad. That was until Frank's voice fills your tiny ears...
"Ellie! Pizza's here! Set the table would you?" Frank shouts from the bedroom as he scrambles to answer the door.
"Ughh I'm right in the middle of a level! Let me save first!?" You watch the red-headed giantess stomp angrily into the kitchen, setting down napkins and some paper plates before turning to the fridge. From under its shadow, you can only see up to the ankle of her socks as Ellie's feet plant themselves in front of you. The massive complex of metal creaks and groans as her unfathomable strength pulls open the thousand-ton freezer drawer above you. Despite being your home for a while now, you were never around when Frank opened it and now the bright fluorescent light from within the ice box shined harshly into your sensitive eyes as the drawer is pulled outward. You hear hundreds of meters of ice cubes jumble around; slipping and sliding past one another as the drawer moves. The drawer reaches the end of its rail a little too quickly and a single, loose ice cube falls onto the floor next to Ellie's foot. Not good...
You hold your breath. The freezer drawer is pushed closed after Ellie fills two cups with fresh ice. As she turns away, her big toe grazes against the cube in front of it, the fabric of her sock easily absorbing the thin film of water along the ice's surfaces. "Huh?" Ellie's eyes dart down to the fallen cube and without any warning, her foot playfully smashes into the cube with lightning speed sending it flying in your direction. You scream and try your best to dive out of its trajectory but the cube makes its mark, striking you head on...
You awaken some time later, your head is killing you and you're pretty sure you've got a concussion. Was it so hard for her to just pick the damn thing up!? You pat yourself down and pick up the overturned thumb tack laying in now partially melted dirty ice water, its needle pointing ominously towards you. As you leave the darkness beneath the fridge (again), you can see all three family members engrossed in their respective meals. You take the table leg on the left as there are only two chairs, their occupants sitting awkwardly across from one another.
Approaching the base of the leg, you jam your thumb tack into the wood and find that it is indeed soft enough to support your weight. Like a mountain climber, you ascend higher and higher pinning and unpinning your needle points into the wood. The silhouette of Frank and Ellie's legs loom in the distance and shock waves of their tapping feet threaten to dislodge you again and again. The climb is slow and torturous, wondering if you'll make it in time or if you'll just fall to your death when they decide to get up. Eventually, though, you reach the summit, the smooth, flat table top is littered with used napkins and solo cups, at the center are two boxes of delicious-smelling pizza, mostly eaten but still the size of city blocks.
Both Frank and his daughter are completely immersed in their phones, if you wanted to get their attention, you'd need to find a different way of reaching them. From where you're standing, you can see a half-filled cup of soda and a lone slice of pizza covered in cheese and grease.
