As terrifying as being on the ground at this height would be, those chips were calling your name. If you could get just one chip, it could feed you for days! Gripping the weave of the couch as tightly as you can, you descend the fabric towards the carpet below. You were usually a relatively neat person but this past week in particular had left your place a disaster. Old takeout, dishes, and random crumbs were everywhere slowly rotting away. Diane was going to have a nightmare cleaning this place up for her next tenant.
After a couple of minutes of your reckless descent, you arrive at the bottom. Strands of old carpet only make it to about your waist in height and wading through the stuff felt like moving through the Amazon. The crinkled bag of chips smelled heavenly, all that salty, starchy goodness just waiting for you to plunder. As you get closer, you can see smaller chip crumbs scattered out from the bag, small enough to carry, these were your saving grace for now. It took some work untangling the dozens of mini carpet hairs from each crumb but it paid off in the end. Gathering as much as you could, and scooping a few into your mouth, you start to look around for a good place to set up shop. Before long the floor was going to be inhabited by all manner of bugs and insects searching for food, and after that, the eventual footfalls of humans looking to buy YOUR home! Aimlessly you walk for hours around your living room searching for shelter, it's almost midnight before you find the perfect spot away from prying eyes. Right at the edge of the kitchen was your decades-old refrigerator, covering the dusty ceramic tiles around it were droves of random food scraps left uncleaned from countless meals. Furthermore, the fridge had a habit of dropping ice cubes any time the freezer was opened; an easy source of drinking water. As you make your way closer, you find the space under the fridge more than accommodating for your size and you joyfully slip under its wide shadow.
The cave under the fridge is less joyous. It's far too dark to see more than a foot in front of you and who knew what sorts of beasts lurked within its depths? Still, the inch or so by the entrance seemed safe enough to sleep in and you set up shop. Clearing away the heavy accumulation of dirt nearest to the open floor, you deposit your chips scraps and curl up for the night.
The next day held miracle after miracle, thrown in your face as if Cthulhu or whatever being that brought you here were apologizing. When you awoke, you could see the full extent of your domain and aside from the ominous spider webs in the far back, you could also see a clear liquid dripping occasionally from the ceiling not far from where you were. Dunking your hands into the cool accumulation below it, your eyes widen with excitement as you greedily gulp down what you can. Although partially dirty, you had a mechanical spring of fresh water right above you! Thank you shitty refrigerator!
The next miracle hit just after midday when a BOOMING knock smashed against your front door. You nearly had a heart attack while collecting food and supplies, caught in the middle of the kitchen floor, you dump everything and make a run for it towards home base. The booming persists after a second wave of stronger, more violent knocks. By the third wave, you had just made it under the fridge, when you hear heavy keys jingle and the front door barge open!
"TONY!!!"
The titan's shout is deafening. It's your landlady Diane and she is indeed very pissed. "Tony! Where are you!? I gave you more than enough leeway on rent, time's up asshole!" You hear her thunderous footsteps as she paces around your house searching for you, eventually, she makes it to the kitchen...
Diane's feet are clad in thick, leather Birkenstocks which stamp angrily as she moves. Your heart falls as her feet trample your precious supplies left out in the open, turned to dust under her enormous steps. "Fuck this I need a drink". Diane sighs and moves towards the fridge. Scurrying deeper into your base, you watch as her massive feet get closer and closer until you can see every detail from her poorly painted toenails to the bits of dirt wedged under those nails and in between her gargantuan toes that would otherwise be invisible to the naked eye. She'd never see you down here and even if she did who's to say she wouldn't think you're a bug or just stomp on you out of spite?
You retreat deeper and deeper into your den as the thoughts of your immediate demise beneath your giant landlady's feet. Suddenly, your back smacks into something rather sticky. Turning around you're horrified to see the now gigantic spider web behind you. You fall back onto your ass and try to scoot away as fast as possible but in all your ruckus you've awoken its owner...
Eight long, hair legs stretch out from the darkness behind the web followed by a face with far too many eyes; all of them centered on you. "E-e-easy now". you stammer. "I'm not food you see!" The spider disagrees, its sharp, powerful mandibles thrash and snap, hissing like an untamed dragon. Oh hell no! You'll take being stepped on any day before becoming spider food! You scamper as fast as you can towards the light not daring to look back at the hulking beast quickly catching up to you!
Florescent light harshly shines in your eyes as you leave the safety of the fridge and out onto the kitchen floor; right in between Diane's feet. Nor did you or the spider notice her looming presence. Relentless in its pursuit, the spider meets you out in the wasteland of the kitchen. Now having pissed off both Diane and the spider you prepare to make a legendary last stand against the enemy, Diane's cacophony of impatient sighs and angry texting accompanies your glorious battle. Had the spider pounced this instant, this indeed would have been how it all ended, but instead, it remained still. Perhaps it was still preparing or maybe it was trying to figure out why this tiny little creature was choosing to fight rather than flee. Either way, the prolonged moment is cut short by a very loud SHRIEK!
"EWWW! God this place is disgusting!" Diane's unsteady feet shift and move erratically, it's a miracle she's yet to crush you but the spider is not so lucky. Eventually, Diane's foot hits its target and the spider disappears instantly beneath the overwhelming mass of her shoe. Now a good few inches behind her heels, you watch her foot lift once again, the flattened, gooey remains of the spider fall from the dirty sole of her sandal onto the floor below. "Yuck! Alright Tony you give me no choice! Time to call Dave and the cleaners and clear this shithole out!" Diane storms out the door leaving you back where you started; now next to the giant fetid corpse of a spider.
The next few hours are chaos, you cower under the fridge now free of any unwanted guests while a cleaning crew clears your home of all your property. By the end, your apartment is vacant, devoid of any life, and now being listed for rent. The next week is even more so for one so tiny. deprived of what was once an overwhelming source of food, you're left to grovel for anything barely edible, mostly off of the debris from people's shoes and the occasional open-house snacks Diane sets aside for her guests. Eventually, however, Diane strikes a deal and the snacks stop coming.
You had gone about 3 days without so much as a crumb of food before the door swung open after being dormant for so long. Diane walks in first, followed by a man who looks slightly older than you and far heavier. He rocks the midwestern trucker style more than anything else and appears to be alone for the time being. Throughout their cheerful conversation and house tour you learn that his name is Frank and that outside of his job in construction, he has a pet dog and hints of a family that he doesn't see all that often. Paperwork gets signed and in enters Frank, you're new roommate and source of food for the foreseeable future.
His "dog" if you can call it that was a small Terrier that resembled a rat more than any dog and was the last breed you'd expect a guy like this to own. The worst part about this new monster was that its food and water bowls were plants right next to the fridge... Every waking hour you lived in terror of seeing "Ralph" dart around the corner looking for food or chasing a dog toy only to see you instead!
It had been almost a full week of living with Frank and Ralph, you stayed confined to the small space around the fridge and spent your days collecting random junk that had made its way under it. This wasn't exactly the home you wanted your fantasy to play out in, and instead of some giant sweet lady to take care of you, there was a hideous rat dog and a hefty man who was somehow a bigger slob than you! You couldn't take this prison sentence anymore, you needed some sort of action, some kind of excitement in your life even if it meant you would die trying.
It was around 2:00 pm when you decided to leave the confines of the fridge. Stepping out into the open you saw no sign of Ralph; probably sleeping somewhere else. Just as you had reached the carpet of the living room, the familiar sound of keys jingling in the doorknob echoed from the front door moments before it swung open. Ralph immediately darted out of the bedroom and started barking, the painful waves of his cries bellowing painfully into your fragile eardrums. As per usual Frank strolls inside, however, this time he is followed by a short redheaded girl; presumably his daughter. She wears a sorority sweatshirt and looks utterly 'thrilled' to be here.
"So just make yourself at home, you'll have to stay on the couch for a while at least until that other mattress gets here". The girl lets out an obnoxious sigh as the pair kick off their shoes and turn on the TV. "Listen, Ellie, I know you don't want to be here but it's only for a little bit. Plus, I have some fun stuff planned for us before you go off to school again". Ellie nods in response and powers on the video game console at the base of the TV.
You considered your options quickly before everything gets too chaotic. Your best bet was to get their attention somehow but that was easier said than done.
