When Victoria and Max finally got back to the Unaffiliated Students Dorm, it was almost 4:00 PM—and the whole campus was already gearing up for another buzzy Saturday night. Based on the vast quantity of beer kegs Victoria had observed being carted through the front door of House Diana on the walk back from Bea's office, the main event of the evening seemed to be a huge party sponsored by the "Jock House." Stepping into the USD lobby, she found her suspicions confirmed by a few fliers plastered to the door.

"Huh," said Victoria, picking up one of the fliers and scanning its contents. "'8 PM to sunrise, girls drink free.' Sounds like my kind of party!" Looking down at the three-inch-tall young man in her bra, she smiled. "What do you think, sweetie?"

"Honestly?" Sandwiched as he was between his stepmom's giant breasts, Max did his best to shrug. "I don't know if I've got another party in me this weekend. Not after last night." He hesitated, unsure how much leeway he really had to speak his mind here. "I was thinking we could maybe, just, like... watch a movie or something?"

"Oh, nonsense," scoffed Victoria, pocketing the flier. "That's all you ever did at home. Well, that, and play with your... oh, my! Is that Zeke?"

As Max followed his stepmom's gaze down the hall, he sighed. Sure enough, there he was. Wearing his usual black Star Wars t-shirt, gray Ventus sweatpants and slide sandals, with his fluffy black hair just as unkempt as ever, his stocky 5'10" Mexican-American roommate looked like he hadn't changed a bit since last night. Judging by the energetic twinkle in his eyes and the self-assured swagger in his walk, he wasn't even hungover—unlike Max, who was still more than a little nauseous from his first brush with blacking out.

"Yeah," Max grumbled. "That's him."

"Hey!" Seeing Victoria — and the three-inch-tall young man poking out from the top of her considerable cleavage — Zeke grinned. "You must be Max's... stepsister, right?"

Again, Max sighed. 24 hours out from the party that had changed his life, possibly forever, Zeke was still the same old Zeke in every possible way—including his irrepressible tendency to flirt with anything that moved. 

"You're sweet." Unable to keep her eyes from briefly wandering down to the pronounced bulge in Zeke's sweatpants, Victoria smiled and extended her hand. "I'm his stepmother, Victoria. But my friends call me Tori."

"Nice to meet you, Tori," said Zeke, kissing the top of her hand like some kind of 19th-century romantic. "I'm Zeke."

Feeling the cocky but undeniably-cute freshman's lips on her hand, Victoria giggled. Witnessing this exchange from the supple but humiliating confines of his stepmom's boobs, Max grimaced. After four weeks of coming up short compared to his roommate in almost every aspect of college life, it felt uniquely agonizing to see him right now—and to watch him try his usual moves on Max's own stepmother, of all people.

"'Sup, Max," said Zeke, catching his roommate's eye and smiling. "Dang... last night was wild, huh?"

"Hey, Zeke," said Max, already thoroughly ready to get this interaction over with. "Yeah, you could say that. Where'd we even go?"

"More like where didn't we go?" Zeke chuckled, offering Victoria another boyish grin. "We started off at Juno, but the vibes were hella sus. So we bounced over to Diana. Then we were at Minerva for a hot sec, then Fortuna..." He shook his head. "I think a couple girls were even trying to get you back to Proserpina at one point." 

Max shuddered. The very mention of Ventus's infamous "Loser House" gave everything about his current situation some much-needed perspective. "I guess I'm lucky I didn't wake up back there, then."

"Yeah, seems like it," said Zeke, mostly focused back on Victoria by now. "So, you're gonna be Max's new roommate now?"

"That's right," said Victoria, offering Zeke another smile. "Our new room is just across the hall."

"Oh, dope!" Sneaking a not-so-subtle glimpse at Victoria's chest, Zeke grinned again. "Guess we're gonna be seeing a whole lot of each other, then?"

"That's one way to put it." Victoria giggled. "Speaking of... you wouldn't mind helping me move Max's stuff out, would you?"

"Not at all," said Zeke, beckoning her inside. "After you."

As Victoria strode into the room, Max couldn't help letting out another sigh. Taking it all in one last time — the Deku and Master Chief posters on his side of the room, the Dragonball and Star Wars posters on Zeke's side, the shared Playstation, the cheap plastic bong they'd bought at the general store just outside the limits of campus — he knew he'd never have another living space like this ever again. Not unless he found some way to get himself back to normal, which wasn't going to happen any time soon.

"Home, sweet home," said Zeke, stepping in behind Victoria. "How do you want to do this?"

Victoria shrugged. "I guess let's start with the big stuff." 

*

Several cardboard box-loads of school supplies, books, games, clothes, sheets, pillowcases, toiletries, snacks, posters, anime figurines and dorm furniture later, Victoria and Zeke had finished moving all of Max's things across the hall into the new room—which turned out to be an empty Resident Advisor suite. While it was still more of a run-of-the-mill dorm room than the lavish studios of Fortuna or the eccentric gothic staterooms of Juno, the in-suite bathroom, king-size bed and walk-in closet were all practically unheard of by USD standards—and Max had a feeling that Bea had pulled some strings to get them in here.

The only problem, at least from Max's perspective, was that Victoria had insisted on leaving most of his things boxed up in the closet to leave room for all of the stuff that Izzy was currently mailing down from Sunnyvale. As a result, while the room was undeniably a lot swankier than his old digs, it also felt a lot less familiar. Watching his stepmom and his old roommate seemingly making eyes at each other for the last half hour hadn't helped him feel any more at ease, either—even if it was sometimes hard to tell how much of this was just Victoria's way of being friendly. Still, with the last of today's big changes finally complete, he could now focus on settling into whatever new normal he'd be dealing with for the foreseeable future.

"Well," said Victoria, surveying the space with satisfaction. "I think that's everything. Thanks again, Zeke."

"Anytime," said Zeke, stepping toward the door. "Guess I should probably let you two get settled in for a bit?" 

"Thanks, yeah," said Max, unable to keep from chiming in from his new perch on Victoria's desk before his stepmom could respond. "That'd be great."

"Geez, man." Recognizing the clear note of impotent annoyance in his three-inch-tall former roommate's voice, Zeke raised his hands in mock offense. "Tell us how you really feel."

"Don't mind him." Sharing a look of knowing amusement with Zeke, Victoria shook her head. "He's had a very long day. I'm sure he's just cranky." 

"Oh, I bet," said Zeke. "What about you?"

Victoria raised an eyebrow. "What about me?"

"I mean, this is your first Saturday night on campus, right?" Zeke's cocky smile returned. "Maybe we could do something later."

Victoria returned Zeke's smile. "Something?"

"Dude, seriously?" Watching all of this, Max rolled his eyes. "I'm right here!"

"Alright, alright," chuckled Zeke, stepping out into the hall. "I'm going. Later, Tori."

"Later, Zeke," giggled Victoria, getting up to close the door behind him.

For a moment, there was silence. Then, once the mature amazon heard the noise of Zeke's door closing on the other side of the hall, she stepped back over to her desk and sighed.

PPRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP

"Whew!" Watching her shrunken stepson getting trapped in another losing battle with her gas, Victoria bent down and waved her hand above him to dissipate the stink. "Sorry, hon. Didn't wanna let that one loose until your cute little roommate got out of here."

"Right," said Max, realizing it was probably unwise to push back on the last part of this statement after such a rare moment of mercy. "So, uh... what is our plan for tonight?"