Rubbing his eyes and taking another look around, the freshly-shrunken freshman immediately got several clues about that last part. To his right was a modest flatscreen TV hooked up to an aging Nintendo 64; to his left were two well-worn green couches covered in empty takeout containers and crumpled rolling papers, and behind him, mounted above another green couch, two huge posters of Bob Marley and Pulp Fiction loomed overhead like giant billboards. Putting all of this together, it didn't take a genius to figure out that he had woken up in his very own common room—in the residential building known to everyone else at Ventus as the Unaffiliated Students Dorm or "USD."
If the jocks in House Diana were the strongest students on campus, the nerds in Minerva were the smartest, the goths in Juno were the scariest, the e-girls in Fortuna were the hottest, and the losers in Proserpina were the grossest, the undergrads lumped into USD were the most down-to-earth—and as a result of being held at arm's length from the social scene of the major houses, they usually stayed that way. A mix of stoners, slackers, chillers and normies, the ones who stuck around for all four years tended to be steady as a rock, either through intense strength of character or a constant stream of weed and booze. In other words, in a school of intense extremes, they were simply, refreshingly average—from their academic performance to their social lives to their sex lives.
Realizing where he was, Max let out a big sigh of relief. While he wasn't sure if anyone in here had the intellectual horsepower to figure out a cure for whatever he'd woken up with, it was nice knowing that he wasn't far from his room—and that he wouldn't have to worry about running afoul of any overbearing jocks, horny nerds, kinky goths, bratty e-girls or fetid gooners on his way back there. All he had to do now was get the attention of one of his dorm mates and hope they didn't mistake him for a bug.
As he thought through the various USD residents he'd met over his first several weeks of school, most of his options didn't seem half bad.
First, there was Maddie Smith—the literal girl next door. Chubby but curvy at 5'7" and 190 lbs, with short blonde hair, green eyes, freckles, ample breasts and an even more ample butt, she'd exchanged pleasantries with him several times since they'd both moved in earlier in the month, and she'd already made a very positive impression. During orientation, she once told him that she'd chosen to remain unaffiliated with any of the major houses because she thought they were a bunch of catty, gatekeeping weirdos. According to her, the only things she needed to enjoy her time at college were a steady supply of Chipotle, high-quality weed and nature documentaries to keep her entertained between her Environmental Sciences classes. In the grand scheme of people Max could possibly run into right now, he could probably do a lot worse than her—although her naturally slobby tendencies and the gastric consequences of her all-takeout-food diet could be cause for concern at his newfound size.
Then, there was Casey Ono—a 6'5", 290-lb 22-year-old Japanese-American amazon and former House Diana member who'd left her place in the campus's social center to become an RA in USD. While Max had always found her a little too intimidating to talk to (her nickname was "the Oni" for Pete's sake), he saw her everywhere he went on campus. Of course, her trademark waist-length black ponytail, antenna-like "horn" of hair and gargantuan, disproportionate pear-shaped body were hard to miss. He also frequently saw her sitting in this very common room watching action movies, getting ready to leave for an off-campus hike (or coming back completely drenched in sweat), and helping the freshman in the dorm as part of her RA duties (at least the ones who didn't immediately run away from her). Knowing how much she appeared to care about the residents of his dorm (she had more of a "Momma Bear" rep among the students she was able to help), she seemed like a pretty good person to find him like this—if he could work up the courage to hold a conversation with her, of course.
There was also Liv Greenly, Casey's boss–the dorm mother of USD and Max's Intro to Biology teacher. A 42-year-old former hippie with the fashion sense and dirty-blonde cornrows to prove it, she was one of the most beloved members of Ventus's faculty. He'd heard several stories of students taking her freshman-level classes to get their science requirements out of the way, only to stick with her all four years just because they enjoyed having her as a teacher that much. The only problem was that she was built like a bus — with a wide gut, wider hips and a butt that could smother any full-sized person's entire torso — and she remained thoroughly committed to the hippie lifestyle of her wild adolescence. This meant that she rarely showered or shaved, and insisted on an all-vegan diet that gave her some of the worst farts on campus—both of which now presented some genuine cause for concern.
And then, of course, there was his roommate—Zeke Torres. To date, the 18-year-old Mexican-American nerd remained his only real friend at Ventus. 5-foot-10 and 200 thickly-built pounds, with black fluffy hair, brown eyes, tan skin, boyishly handsome features and a seemingly very large cock (at least, based on the few unintentional glimpses Max had gotten late at night in their room), he'd probably do a decent job keeping Max away from more overtly-malicious forces on campus. Then again, remembering how Zeke had spent the last few weeks unintentionally lording over him about his burgeoning social life, Max wasn't sure if he wanted his roommate to find him like this—his place on campus so much more literally diminished. Maybe he was just getting in his head about that, though.
Mentally reviewing his options one more time, he couldn't help wondering if he'd be better off simply trying to make a break for his room—but with no idea how to get there from here, that was going to be easier said than done. The idea of venturing into the hall in his current form seemed like a recipe for disaster, but the prospect of just sitting on the table and waiting to surprise the first person to come in wasn't terribly appealing, either. Fortunately, or unfortunately, before he could spend any more time trying to game the whole situation out, he heard the door open on the other side of the room.
When he turned around, he found himself face to face with...
