"Hello, can I help you?"
I turned my head. There, standing at the end of the aisle, was a middle-aged woman with bright yellow hair (and a lab coat, oddly enough).
"Hi there." I said. "So, um, I suppose that I was interested in purchasing one of your...figurines."
"Wonderful!" she said. "You came just at the perfect time. Had you come a little bit later, you almost certainly would have missed entirely....and, well, we won't be able to stock any more for about four months or so."
"That long?" I said, looking down at the box.
"The construction and programming process is a long and intricate one." she said, nodding her head. "We've been looking for ways to hasten the process, but, well, there's only so much we can do without sacrificing quality."
"That makes sense." I said. "So, um.....what exactly is this...figurine, anyway? I've seen a couple of ads, and, well...from what I gathered, it's some sort of robot horse person...thing."
"Sort of." the saleswoman said. "Our Hyperlife figurines are fully sapient bio-mechanical anthropomorphic equines, each designed and programmed with their own distinct personalities, desires, and aptitudes. Capable of living for up to three hundred years with proper care--although they're quite capable of taking care of themselves--our figures will bond to you upon activation, and will become a happy and eager lifelong companion to you."
"...Wow." I said, looking at the box in disbelief. "And all that in a box this small."
"Technology is a wonderful thing, isn't it?"
"That it is." I said. "So, um....what kind of models do you have?"
"We have a very wide variety." the saleswoman said. "All of which possess wildly different personalities and traits. There are--and these are just the ones off the op of my head--the Twilight Sparkles, perfect for nerds and bookworms of all varieties. The Applejacks, popular among farmers and other rural dwellers. Rainbow Dashes, for those who love competition and athletic vigor. Raritys, for fashionistas and social climbers. Fluttershys, for nature lovers and the habitually quiet-types. Pinkie Pies, for lovers of parties and baked goods. The Princess Celestias and Lunas, for those looking for sources of advice and counseling in their lives, and Princess Cadences, for those who ant both advice...and, uh, companionship. There are also....let's see, Shining Armors, Cheerilees, Lyras, Bon-Bons, Derpys, Coco Pommels, Roselucks, Big Macintoshs, Caramels, Maud Pies, Vinyl Scratches, Octavias, Fancy Pants, Prince Bluebloods, Daring..."
As the saleswomen continued to rattle off names as quickly as she could remember them, I took a moment to look down at the box and confirm which model I was looking at.
I turned my head. There, standing at the end of the aisle, was a middle-aged woman with bright yellow hair (and a lab coat, oddly enough).
"Hi there." I said. "So, um, I suppose that I was interested in purchasing one of your...figurines."
"Wonderful!" she said. "You came just at the perfect time. Had you come a little bit later, you almost certainly would have missed entirely....and, well, we won't be able to stock any more for about four months or so."
"That long?" I said, looking down at the box.
"The construction and programming process is a long and intricate one." she said, nodding her head. "We've been looking for ways to hasten the process, but, well, there's only so much we can do without sacrificing quality."
"That makes sense." I said. "So, um.....what exactly is this...figurine, anyway? I've seen a couple of ads, and, well...from what I gathered, it's some sort of robot horse person...thing."
"Sort of." the saleswoman said. "Our Hyperlife figurines are fully sapient bio-mechanical anthropomorphic equines, each designed and programmed with their own distinct personalities, desires, and aptitudes. Capable of living for up to three hundred years with proper care--although they're quite capable of taking care of themselves--our figures will bond to you upon activation, and will become a happy and eager lifelong companion to you."
"...Wow." I said, looking at the box in disbelief. "And all that in a box this small."
"Technology is a wonderful thing, isn't it?"
"That it is." I said. "So, um....what kind of models do you have?"
"We have a very wide variety." the saleswoman said. "All of which possess wildly different personalities and traits. There are--and these are just the ones off the op of my head--the Twilight Sparkles, perfect for nerds and bookworms of all varieties. The Applejacks, popular among farmers and other rural dwellers. Rainbow Dashes, for those who love competition and athletic vigor. Raritys, for fashionistas and social climbers. Fluttershys, for nature lovers and the habitually quiet-types. Pinkie Pies, for lovers of parties and baked goods. The Princess Celestias and Lunas, for those looking for sources of advice and counseling in their lives, and Princess Cadences, for those who ant both advice...and, uh, companionship. There are also....let's see, Shining Armors, Cheerilees, Lyras, Bon-Bons, Derpys, Coco Pommels, Roselucks, Big Macintoshs, Caramels, Maud Pies, Vinyl Scratches, Octavias, Fancy Pants, Prince Bluebloods, Daring..."
As the saleswomen continued to rattle off names as quickly as she could remember them, I took a moment to look down at the box and confirm which model I was looking at.
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April 19
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