As you sat in the small gift box in Zoe’s letterbox, you had to give yourself praise for such a flawless execution of the plan so far;

Step 1: Shrink self

Step 2: Have friend seal you in already prepared gift box

Step 3: Friend mails you to Zoe’s address

Step 4: Zoe receives parcel containing you, is overwhelmed by your devotion and agrees to take you back!

You were currently between steps three and four, and while the mailman was a little rough with your box, everything was going smoothly. But why were you doing this, exactly? Well, the short version is you’re an idiot. The longer version starts six months ago, when Zoe found out you cheated on her. Now, this wasn’t an affair; it was a drunken fling with a co-worker, but nonetheless, trust was betrayed and hearts were broken. You spent the next six months wallowing in self pity until you remembered something Zoe told you during a very ‘intimate’ discussion… she confessed that ever since she was a kid, she was fascinated by depictions of shrunken men in films, tv, books, wherever she could find them! As she got older, this took on more of a sexual nature until it blossomed into a full blown fetish. 

At the time, you didn’t think much of it - loads of people have kinks, after all - and it wasn’t like this was one that was achievable, but perhaps this was just the thing to win her back… After some shrewd browsing of the dark web and a several hundred dollar purchase, you found yourself in possession of a real life shrinking potion, along with the antidote of course. After that, it was a matter of getting a trusted friend - Lydia - to stuff you in a box and send you to Zoe! 

Lydia had her objections, of course. But you’ve known her since you were kids and you’d be hard pressed to name even one instance of her liking your ideas. In the end, she agreed. Reluctantly. 

And so, there you sat for the next two hours, waiting for someone to bring you inside and hand you to Zoe. You listened to the squeak of the hinge as someone opened the letterbox, and braced yourself as you were lifted clumsily along with the other parcels and letters received today, and carried indoors. You didn’t have to wait much longer before you could hear someone opening your box. Your heart began to pound as you wondered what you’d say to her - should you immediately go for the apology? Or stay quiet, let her speak first?

The lid shifted and moved aside, letting light come flooding in, temporarily blinding you. When your vision returned to normal, you were looking up at the enormous face of…