Take your time and make sure the job is done well.
Your Life......Smaller
chapter 7
by
copier
· original author:
doodoomaloo
Peering up at the mirror above, you take another look at the decadent fields of food before you. "Maybe this won't be as hard as it looks." you think to yourself. After all, if your mother, who constantly babies you, has faith that you can do it are you really in your right to say that you can't? Picking up a small shim of plastic, a homemade tool of yours, you hoist yourself up onto a wedge of cheddar, slide into one of its many divots, and get to work.
Only once you're inside of an expansive cheese crater does the gravity of the situation hit you. Standing 0.01 inches tall, or 250 micrometers, a typical grain of salt has twice the height you do. You could dig a channel as deep and as wide as your arm span running from one end of the cheese wedge to the other, and it would only barely be noticeable. This fact only serves to dwarf your efforts further when you stop to count the number of wedges and crackers on the board. In total, there are 25 landmasses of solidified milk protein and 25 plains of carbs in need of your terraforming, assuming you devoted 2 minutes of your time to each, you would be here for close to 2 hours.
Despite the sheer abundance of labor ahead of you, you refuse to half ass any of it. If anything, the seemingly impossible nature of this task only motivates you more. With determination coursing through your arms and legs you drive your shim into the ground, moving cheese at breakneck speeds. You meticulously engrave each and every divot with an unmatched precision, taking extra care to ensure that every cut is neat and symmetrical. After half an hour of hard work your mom swings by the kitchen to check up on you, while you stop to take a breather.
"Oh wow!" she says, admiring the 7 cheeses and 6 crackers that you've carved so far. "You've doing an amazing job honey, and I don't mean to be rude, but can you please work a bit faster? It's 5PM right now and I already told everyone to be here by 6."
"It's already that late?"
"If you don't think you can finish in time you can stop, it's not that big of a deal. I'd really hate it if you were still working on it while we have guests in the house. It makes me shiver just thinking about what might happen to you if--"
"It's fine mom. I can get it done in time, I swear." you say, even though in truth you're unsure if you can.
"Okay, but just remember, you can stop anytime." Your mom then turns and exits the room.
With just an hour left to finish you roll up your sleeves and hack at the swish, cheddar, gouda, jack, and blue harder and faster than what you thought you were capable of. You plow through the wheat, white, rye, pretzel, and gluten-free like a starving farmer. You make short but honest work out of the goliath platter and assert dominance over this land of plenty. With just a few more slices left untouched you take a moment to lie down in the depths of a gouda gulch and take everything in.
Cheese permeates your senses, the smell, the taste, the wet chalky feel on your hands and feet, it feels like you're about to dissolve into dairy. You could spend your whole life eating what's on this tray and still not leave a dent in it, so It's a surreal thought to think that all of this will disappear into the mouths of just 6 business women. What does that say about you? Sure if you were still sitting in this trench by the time your mom's lady friends showed up you could just as easily vanish into one of their hungry maws, but you don't have to worry about that, right? "I'm almost done, there's nothing to fret over." is what you think right before a horrifying sound socks you back to your feet.
Ding Dong
~
A blonde woman in her mid 30's, wearing jeans and a blouse, greets your mother at the door. "Karen! It's been an awful long time since I've last seen ya!" she says, with a southern air in her voice.
"Oh Janet, It's nice to see you! Come on in, sit down, sit down."
Janet strolls into the living room and lowers her wide hips onto the family couch, "Sorry I'm early. I didn't realize how close we lived to each other."
"It's not a problem, I just finished getting everything ready. --Well actually there is one more thing I need to check up on, but other than that you came right on time."
A short silence lingers before being interrupted by a low pitched growl, "Haha, my bad! You said there'd be a lot of food, so I made sure to bring an empty belly, and it looks like she went and said somthin' 'bout it before I could." the woman laughs, rubbing her gut. "So y'all got some grub somewhere? "
"Of course, give me one minute and I'll grab you something. In the meantime make yourself at home." she says, heading into the kitchen.
~
You sigh in relief to see your mother once again enter your view. "Looks like you'll have to cut things short. Janet came early." she says, peering down at you standing atop the last unworked piece of cheese.
"Dang, I was almost finished too." you let out in frustration.
Glaring down at the fruits of your labor, the spectacle of such a beautiful arrangement of masterfully engraved snacks strikes something in your mom, causing her to stop and think. "Well, it is just Janet. I could explain the situation to her and have her wait while you finish up."
"Hold on a second." you object. "Janet doesn't know about me or my condition, does she? I don't know if trying to explain--" Suddenly a figure walks into the kitchen.
"Oh Karen I forgot to ask, can you also grab me something to drink? I'm mighty thirsty and-- Oh my! what is this?" In a matter of seconds Janet moves her body next to Karen's and leaned her head over the counter housing the tray. "Karen! This looks amazing! Did you do all of this yourself?"
Karen jolts backs, "Geez Janet! You spooked me." she says, surprised by her sudden appearance. "You like it? I was inspired by what you did at your party."
"Like it? I love it." Proceeding to ogle the platter beneath her, Janet nibbles at the projections of food in her mind. "Safe to say you outdid me, by a heaping margin I should add."
"I'll be honest, it wasn't just me. I had my son help with the details."
"Your son, eh? You didn't tell me you had a son. I would've dressed a tad bit sexier had I known that!"
"Keep that to yourself, he can hear you." Your mother blushes, peeking down to catch your reaction. "Haha, yeah about that. My son was born pretty special."
"Oh, special, huh?" she said, with a visible disappointment.
"No no no, not like that. You see, he's special in a very interesting way. It has to do with his size."
"So he's a big boy then?"
"Quite the opposite, actually." Pointing down at the block of jack you're on, she invites Janet to take a closer look at the patterns cut into the food. "This is going to sound crazy but he was born only one hundredth of an--" The sound of the doorbell returns, filling the house.
Ding Dong
"Oh shoot! Janet, do you mind?"
"Not at all. Go ahead and answer it. I don't mind being left alone with this delicious lil' thing."
You mother's blood turns to ice at her remark. "Oh my god! Whatever you do, do not touch ANYTHING on that tray!"
"Oh come on Karen! There's no need to be so prim and proper about it. They're just snacks."
"Janet I'm serious! Don't eat anything! My son is still on that tray!"
"What? Your son is still working on it? Why does that-- Whatever." Holding her right hand in the air, with her left siting in the groove of her back, fingers crossed. she says, "I swear on my soul I won't touch anythin'."
Still hesitant to leave Janet alone your mother slowly backs into the doorway with her eyes fixed on the kitchen counter before finally breaking her gaze and turning towards the front door. "I'll explain everything in just a minute."
Janet, now unsupervised, fixes her sight onto the block of jack pointed out to her. "Oh Karen, always such a perfectionist." she gabs to no one in particular. "No one will notice if just one little bite goes missing." Thunderous groans, moans, murmurs and squeals erupt from the deepest parts of her stomach. "Oh, ho! I agree." she says, reaching down for the world of cheese you inhabit.
Legs jittering, heart dancing, you scream, "Holy fuck!" trying to get footing on the slick ground. You make a mad dash for the nearest edge, when your feet suddenly twist without warning. You tumble down into a tiny hole just along one of the corners of the cheese. Snapping your head up in horror you see a pair of all encompassing rosy red lips pass above and beneath you. In a flash, the massive red bodies and two sets of white enamel walls crash together, just a hair in front of you, exposing you to the open air.
"Mmh, that's good." the gluttonous woman holding you moans, licking her lips.
Without a doubt in the following seconds Janet will deposit you into her mouth and devour you, completely unaware of your presence, unless you act now. Instinctively you jump to your feet and...
Only once you're inside of an expansive cheese crater does the gravity of the situation hit you. Standing 0.01 inches tall, or 250 micrometers, a typical grain of salt has twice the height you do. You could dig a channel as deep and as wide as your arm span running from one end of the cheese wedge to the other, and it would only barely be noticeable. This fact only serves to dwarf your efforts further when you stop to count the number of wedges and crackers on the board. In total, there are 25 landmasses of solidified milk protein and 25 plains of carbs in need of your terraforming, assuming you devoted 2 minutes of your time to each, you would be here for close to 2 hours.
Despite the sheer abundance of labor ahead of you, you refuse to half ass any of it. If anything, the seemingly impossible nature of this task only motivates you more. With determination coursing through your arms and legs you drive your shim into the ground, moving cheese at breakneck speeds. You meticulously engrave each and every divot with an unmatched precision, taking extra care to ensure that every cut is neat and symmetrical. After half an hour of hard work your mom swings by the kitchen to check up on you, while you stop to take a breather.
"Oh wow!" she says, admiring the 7 cheeses and 6 crackers that you've carved so far. "You've doing an amazing job honey, and I don't mean to be rude, but can you please work a bit faster? It's 5PM right now and I already told everyone to be here by 6."
"It's already that late?"
"If you don't think you can finish in time you can stop, it's not that big of a deal. I'd really hate it if you were still working on it while we have guests in the house. It makes me shiver just thinking about what might happen to you if--"
"It's fine mom. I can get it done in time, I swear." you say, even though in truth you're unsure if you can.
"Okay, but just remember, you can stop anytime." Your mom then turns and exits the room.
With just an hour left to finish you roll up your sleeves and hack at the swish, cheddar, gouda, jack, and blue harder and faster than what you thought you were capable of. You plow through the wheat, white, rye, pretzel, and gluten-free like a starving farmer. You make short but honest work out of the goliath platter and assert dominance over this land of plenty. With just a few more slices left untouched you take a moment to lie down in the depths of a gouda gulch and take everything in.
Cheese permeates your senses, the smell, the taste, the wet chalky feel on your hands and feet, it feels like you're about to dissolve into dairy. You could spend your whole life eating what's on this tray and still not leave a dent in it, so It's a surreal thought to think that all of this will disappear into the mouths of just 6 business women. What does that say about you? Sure if you were still sitting in this trench by the time your mom's lady friends showed up you could just as easily vanish into one of their hungry maws, but you don't have to worry about that, right? "I'm almost done, there's nothing to fret over." is what you think right before a horrifying sound socks you back to your feet.
Ding Dong
~
A blonde woman in her mid 30's, wearing jeans and a blouse, greets your mother at the door. "Karen! It's been an awful long time since I've last seen ya!" she says, with a southern air in her voice.
"Oh Janet, It's nice to see you! Come on in, sit down, sit down."
Janet strolls into the living room and lowers her wide hips onto the family couch, "Sorry I'm early. I didn't realize how close we lived to each other."
"It's not a problem, I just finished getting everything ready. --Well actually there is one more thing I need to check up on, but other than that you came right on time."
A short silence lingers before being interrupted by a low pitched growl, "Haha, my bad! You said there'd be a lot of food, so I made sure to bring an empty belly, and it looks like she went and said somthin' 'bout it before I could." the woman laughs, rubbing her gut. "So y'all got some grub somewhere? "
"Of course, give me one minute and I'll grab you something. In the meantime make yourself at home." she says, heading into the kitchen.
~
You sigh in relief to see your mother once again enter your view. "Looks like you'll have to cut things short. Janet came early." she says, peering down at you standing atop the last unworked piece of cheese.
"Dang, I was almost finished too." you let out in frustration.
Glaring down at the fruits of your labor, the spectacle of such a beautiful arrangement of masterfully engraved snacks strikes something in your mom, causing her to stop and think. "Well, it is just Janet. I could explain the situation to her and have her wait while you finish up."
"Hold on a second." you object. "Janet doesn't know about me or my condition, does she? I don't know if trying to explain--" Suddenly a figure walks into the kitchen.
"Oh Karen I forgot to ask, can you also grab me something to drink? I'm mighty thirsty and-- Oh my! what is this?" In a matter of seconds Janet moves her body next to Karen's and leaned her head over the counter housing the tray. "Karen! This looks amazing! Did you do all of this yourself?"
Karen jolts backs, "Geez Janet! You spooked me." she says, surprised by her sudden appearance. "You like it? I was inspired by what you did at your party."
"Like it? I love it." Proceeding to ogle the platter beneath her, Janet nibbles at the projections of food in her mind. "Safe to say you outdid me, by a heaping margin I should add."
"I'll be honest, it wasn't just me. I had my son help with the details."
"Your son, eh? You didn't tell me you had a son. I would've dressed a tad bit sexier had I known that!"
"Keep that to yourself, he can hear you." Your mother blushes, peeking down to catch your reaction. "Haha, yeah about that. My son was born pretty special."
"Oh, special, huh?" she said, with a visible disappointment.
"No no no, not like that. You see, he's special in a very interesting way. It has to do with his size."
"So he's a big boy then?"
"Quite the opposite, actually." Pointing down at the block of jack you're on, she invites Janet to take a closer look at the patterns cut into the food. "This is going to sound crazy but he was born only one hundredth of an--" The sound of the doorbell returns, filling the house.
Ding Dong
"Oh shoot! Janet, do you mind?"
"Not at all. Go ahead and answer it. I don't mind being left alone with this delicious lil' thing."
You mother's blood turns to ice at her remark. "Oh my god! Whatever you do, do not touch ANYTHING on that tray!"
"Oh come on Karen! There's no need to be so prim and proper about it. They're just snacks."
"Janet I'm serious! Don't eat anything! My son is still on that tray!"
"What? Your son is still working on it? Why does that-- Whatever." Holding her right hand in the air, with her left siting in the groove of her back, fingers crossed. she says, "I swear on my soul I won't touch anythin'."
Still hesitant to leave Janet alone your mother slowly backs into the doorway with her eyes fixed on the kitchen counter before finally breaking her gaze and turning towards the front door. "I'll explain everything in just a minute."
Janet, now unsupervised, fixes her sight onto the block of jack pointed out to her. "Oh Karen, always such a perfectionist." she gabs to no one in particular. "No one will notice if just one little bite goes missing." Thunderous groans, moans, murmurs and squeals erupt from the deepest parts of her stomach. "Oh, ho! I agree." she says, reaching down for the world of cheese you inhabit.
Legs jittering, heart dancing, you scream, "Holy fuck!" trying to get footing on the slick ground. You make a mad dash for the nearest edge, when your feet suddenly twist without warning. You tumble down into a tiny hole just along one of the corners of the cheese. Snapping your head up in horror you see a pair of all encompassing rosy red lips pass above and beneath you. In a flash, the massive red bodies and two sets of white enamel walls crash together, just a hair in front of you, exposing you to the open air.
"Mmh, that's good." the gluttonous woman holding you moans, licking her lips.
Without a doubt in the following seconds Janet will deposit you into her mouth and devour you, completely unaware of your presence, unless you act now. Instinctively you jump to your feet and...
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June 6
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