Your birthday hadn't exactly gone as you had hoped. The quality of his presents ranged from underwear and bland clothes from family members to a TV controller from your best friend. Yup. A TV controller was the best that you could do. Granted the 2 in your house were broken, but still. It was currently about 1:30 AM at night, you had just smoked a full blunt and been using the controller to marathon The New Batman Adventures...Specifically the Poison Ivy themed episodes.



God, you loved Poison Ivy. You'd always rooted for her against Batman since you were a kid, as far as you were concerned, she was the real hero in her battle to save the planet from corrupt politicians and millionaires. And then, of course, there was your fantasies of her. Not just making love to her, but smelling her farts from that curvy butt of hers behind that skin tight leotard...And eventually being TURNED to shit and gas in her curvy, sexy stomach in long, GRAPHIC digestion.



Eventually, staring and fantasizing grew boring for you however. You had an exam tomorrow anyway, you needed all the sleep you could get. Plus if you were caught watching The New Batman Adventures in a classroom with his trousers down, his reputation and life at college would be over. You sighed, pausing the TV before turning the power button off.



...Wait...There was no power button...But there had to be, right? You kept searching and searching but could find nothing. There was volume, a channel changer, On Demand...But no power. Your eyes managed to glance over to one button. On it were inscribed 4 letters; " TELE "



The remote in your hand felt heavy, a true weight more like a brick than a piece of plastic. As you looked down at the TELE button, you were sure... No, but wait it would be impossible- The remote throbbed in your hand, breathing in anticipation when you held it so tightly.



While your index finger hovered over it, you wouldn't get a chance to make the choice as the button actually extended up to greet his finger and forced you to push down on it. As this happened, a spark left the front of the remote and into the TV. The screen was held on the morally correct 'bioterrorist', paused on a single expression of quiet pride at the 'camera'. And then, it went dark. In fact the whole room went dark- FHWOOOOOOM!

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June 1
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