"Act as your... chair?" you repeat, the words feeling foreign and foolish in your mouth.


"Yes!" Wiz chirps, her undead complexion seeming to brighten. "It's a very important role. A chair must be sturdy, reliable, and silent. Well, mostly silent. I don't want you disturbing the customers! But you must provide a stable and comfortable seat for your employer."


The logic, if it could be called that, was so twisted it somehow looped back to making a strange kind of sense in this world. This was your life now. It was this or starving to death


"...What's the pay?" you ask, the last vestige of your pride trying to secure a tangible reward for this intangible humiliation.


Wiz taps her chin. "Let's see... I can't pay you in regular currency, as you wouldn't be a store employee. But I could provide room and board in the back storage room, and any leftover food from me," she adds quickly, this was a good deal until you found something else.



"Fine. I'll do it."


Wiz claps her hands together with a soft, delighted gasp. "Wonderful! Let's begin the orientation immediately. The floor, if you please." She gestures to the spot in front of the counter where the broken chair once sat.


Feeling a hot flush creep up your neck, you kneel down on the dusty floorboards, getting on all fours. You try to make your back as flat and level as possible, bracing your core. How long was this going to be again?


Whiz approaches quickly She smooths down her long, dark skirt and then, with a surprising amount of grace, lowers herself until she is seated squarely on your back. The first thing you notice is how cold she is, how is she even alive?

The second was the weight. Wiz's figure was much more, curvaceous, than Megumin's and you could tell immediately. Both had plump thighs and behinds that spread out under their weight and also spread the weight on your back, but Wiz's weight pulled you down hard.


"Ahhh, much better. So much more stable than that old chair. And you're quite warm, too. A definite improvement."


You remain silent, staring at the grain of the wooden floor just inches from your nose. The scent of dust and and Wiz's perfume fills your lungs. A definite improvement over Megumin's B.O.. Wiz didnt seem to sweat either.


A few minutes pass in silence, broken only by the soft swishing of the autonomous broom. Then, the bell above the door jingles.


"Welcome to Wiz's Magical Items!" Wiz says cheerfully from her perch on your back. "Please feel free to browse!"


You hear the customer's footsteps hesitate. "Uh... Wiz? Is that... a person?"


"Oh, yes! This is my new attendant. Don't mind them, they're just my new assistant. Now, were you looking for anything in particular today? I just got in a wonderful new shipment of enchanted quills that are guaranteed to never run out of ink! They do, however, only write in a language no one can read..."


The customer gives a nervous chuckle and begins to browse, but you can feel her eyes on you every so often. The humiliation burns to your core. You cant even see their face, they only noticed your arms and legs pocking out under the desk.. This was your job. You were a chair. A good chair didn't complain. A good chair just... was.


After the customer leaves (purchasing a "Luck-Boosting" charm that you're certain will do the opposite), Wiz pats your head gently.


"You did wonderfully! So sturdy and quiet. I think this is the start of a very productive partnership." She shifts again, and you feel her lean forward, her weight strains your back. 


You close your eyes and the time passes as you zone out. You're brought back to reality as Wiz stands up stretching her legs. As you refocus you feel the terrible pain in your back. Her weight is starting to take a toll on you so you stand to strech.

"Oh right, I forgot about you. Do stretch but get back into position soon, Ill need my chair to count the cash at the end of the day." "Could I be in a different position this time, my back is starting to hurt?"

"Of course... what was your name again?" You realized you never told her, for the past couple hours this woman knew you as nothing but a chair. She even forgot you existed. "Sam."

"Right, Sam. You can be in a different spot as long as I'm comfortable. Oh, and you can take a break as I close up, but your employed to myself, not this shop. Your day ends when I go to sleep, which I usually don't actually. That is to say, don't get relaxed, I'll be wanting a foot massage later."


How will you position yourself

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September 29, 2025
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