Vince stood there in his new curvy, lactating female body, soaked tank top clinging to his heavy, leaking tits. Milk continued to drip steadily down his soft belly and onto the floor. He glared down at the tiny, angry baby version of Linda sitting on the carpet in her pink onesie.

 

“No fuckin’ way,” Vince said, voice still loud and crass even though it was coming out of a woman’s mouth. “I ain’t feedin’ you, you little gremlin. Get your own damn food. There’s pizza right there.”

 

Baby Linda’s big blue eyes narrowed. “You think I can eat pizza with these baby gums, you milk cow? I’m starvin’ over here!”

 

She crawled over to the coffee table on all fours, chubby hands grabbing a cold slice of pepperoni pizza. She brought it to her mouth and tried to gum it like a normal baby would, but her adult frustration made it pathetic. Tiny teeth that weren’t there yet mashed uselessly against the crust. Sauce and cheese smeared all over her cheeks and chin. She made frustrated grunting sounds, waving the mangled slice around.

 

“Goddamn it! This ain’t workin’! I can’t chew shit!”

 

Paul shifted uncomfortably from the hallway, still flushed. “Um… Vince… maybe you should just… help her? She’s technically still our landlord. And she looks really hungry.”

 

Brandon, still stuck in his stick-thin, flat-chested body, crossed his bony arms and nodded. “Yeah, come on. It’s your fault she’s a baby in the first place — indirectly. Just let her nurse for a minute so she stops yelling. It’s weird for all of us, but it’ll shut her up.”

 

Vince groaned, milk still leaking freely from his nipples and making the front of his tank top translucent. “This is so fuckin’ gross. Fine. But only ‘cause you two nerds are gangin’ up on me. And if either of you laugh, I’m zappin’ you both into clowns.”

 

He dropped down onto the couch, the weight of his new heavy breasts making him wince. He pulled up the soaked tank top with obvious reluctance, exposing two swollen, leaking tits. The nipples were dark and puffy, already dripping streams of warm milk.

 

Baby Linda crawled over eagerly, still grumbling. “About damn time. Don’t get any ideas, meathead. This is strictly survival.”

 

Vince awkwardly lifted the tiny baby up and positioned her at his chest. Linda latched on with surprising strength, her little mouth closing around one nipple. The second she started sucking, a powerful stream of milk shot into her mouth. She made greedy gulping sounds, her tiny hands pawing at Vince’s soft breast.

 

“Ow — fuck, that feels weird,” Vince muttered, face twisted in discomfort. “It’s like… pullin’ on somethin’ that shouldn’t be pulled. And it tingles all the way down to my new pussy. This sucks.”

 

Linda kept nursing, making satisfied little grunts between swallows, but her adult personality kept leaking through. She pulled off for a second, milk dribbling down her chin. “Tastes like vanilla protein shake mixed with shame. Keep squeezin’ it out, dairy boy. I’m still hungry.”

 

Vince rolled his eyes and gently squeezed his other breast, sending another squirt of milk arcing onto Linda’s onesie. “This is the most awkward shit I’ve ever done. My balls are gone, I’ve got leaking tits, and now I’m breastfeedin’ our landlord. Somebody kill me.”

 

Brandon watched the whole thing with a mix of annoyance at his own flat body and amusement. “You two look adorable. Truly a bonding moment.”

 

Paul just stood there, glasses fogged, trying not to stare at Vince’s exposed, lactating breasts or the way Linda was latched on like a tiny angry gremlin.

 

After a couple of minutes, Linda finally pulled away, burped loudly (sounding ridiculous in her baby voice), and wiped her milky mouth with the back of her chubby hand.

 

“Alright… that hit the spot. Now somebody better change me back before I piss this diaper.”

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April 7
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