Later, he told himself. Explore later. You have a job to do.
The gallery opening was at 7:00 PM. According to Maya’s notes in the app, her ex-boyfriend was some avant-garde “sensory artist” named Julian who specialized in installations involving recycled menstrual blood and broken glass. Trevor was supposed to attend as Maya, be “convincingly aloof,” and ideally make Julian regret dumping her while not actually causing a scene.
But first: clothes.
Trevor raided Maya’s closet with the enthusiasm of a kid in a costume shop, but the reality was more complicated than the fantasy. Nothing fit the way he expected. Jeans gripped his new hips like they were trying to tell him a secret. Bras were engineering puzzles that he fumbled with for twenty minutes, eventually managing to harness his breasts into a lacy black number that pushed them up into cleavage he couldn’t stop staring at.
He settled on a black slip dress—simple, sexy, ambiguously sophisticated. When he stepped into Maya’s heels (three inches, modest by her standards), the shift in posture was devastating. His ass stuck out automatically. His calves flexed. The sway of his walk was biological, not learned; his new hips dictated the rhythm, left-right-left, a pendulum of flesh that drew the eye to places Trevor was trying to ignore.
By 6:30 PM, Trevor was sweating. Not the masculine, pit-stain sweat of his real body, but a fine, feminine sheen that made Maya’s collarbones glow. He’d done his—her—makeup following a YouTube tutorial, managing a smoky eye and a nude lip that made him look like he’d just been kissed.
The Uber ride to the gallery was a lesson in vulnerability. The driver—a heavyset man with hairy knuckles—kept looking at him in the rearview mirror with a hunger that Trevor recognized from the other side. It should have been flattering. Instead, it felt like being sized up for consumption. He sat with his knees pressed together, hyper-aware of the draft between his legs where his dress rode up, of the lack of a bulge to adjust, of the way the seatbelt cut between his breasts.
The gallery was in Bushwick, all exposed pipes and white walls. Trevor walked in and immediately understood what “male privilege” meant. In his old body, he’d been invisible here—another suit, another accountant. As Maya, heads turned. Eyes traveled from his ankles up to his neckline. He was looked at in a way that made his new skin feel two sizes too small.
And then he saw Julian.
The ex was tall, rail-thin, with a man-bun and a turtleneck in July. He was holding court near an installation that looked like a pile of taxidermied raccoons, gesturing with a wine glass as a circle of art students nodded solemnly.
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January 29
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