Adversarial Aunt (part 2)
One Foot Tall Fiancé
chapter 7
by
copier
· original author:
lifesaver
“Ehem, well Tara, I wanted to talk to you today about climate change and what we can do about it.” As you talked, Tara leaned back in her chair and chugged the rest of her beer quickly, finishing it off with a powerful burp. Nevertheless you attempted to press on. “Aunt Tara, I believe you are making too big of a carbon footprint…”
“What’s that? Oh uhh sure.” Tara talked over you, clearly not listening to a single word that you were saying already. She then scooted her chair back a foot and lifted her legs up, slamming her feet onto the table mere inches away from you. In reality she wasn’t looking where she was putting her legs one bit, and it was just coincidence that she didn’t pulverize you under her heels. Now, each of Tara’s feet, slightly dirty from the backyard, stood an inch or so taller than you did. She continued speaking, “You said something about my footprint, right? I figured you would get enough interaction with feet enough in your life but if you’re interested check em out!” Immediately you were frustrated beyond belief. Like usual, she wasn’t giving you an ounce of respect, and was more preoccupied with drinking her beer and relaxing than listening to you.
“Aunt Tara! Please will you move your feet! I was talking about a CARBON footprint, not your literal gross footprint. You know, as in like pollution?” Exasperated you tried to get through to her.
“Nah I’m way too comfortable now like this, little guy. Just pretend they aren’t even there and keep saying whatever you’re saying. Did you say pollution though? I heard that’s all just a myth and the world is gonna cool down again eventually.” Tara concluded her idiotic statement as if it was fact before wiggling her toes in the breeze. You saw small bits of dirt and grass fall off of them as she did this and you stepped further away from them, sufficiently grossed out.
“That’s simply not true! 99% of scientists are saying that we need to cut down on our emissions, and cars like that Hummer of yours are a big part of the problem! You should look into selling it and getting an electric vehicle in my opinio…”
“Ugh hold up one sec, tiny, I’ll be back in a jiff. I need a beer if you’re gonna keep annoying me like this.” Tara talked completely over you once more before standing up from her chair and walking a short distance towards the cooler. You saw her matching American flag bikini bottoms get slowly swallowed up between her enormous, jiggly ass cheeks and grimaced. A couple more months of eating the way that she did and those wouldn’t fit at all anymore. You were fed up, none of your talking points were making any progress with this obstinate woman. Moreover, if she came back and plopped her feet up next to you again you knew there was no way she would start listening to you at all. Looking into her empty chair you came up with a brilliant idea! If she was so selfish that she believed she was entitled to do whatever she wanted then you would show her some selfishness by claiming her chair as your own too! Surely when she came back from getting a beer she would be forced to see the irony of the situation and maybe even listen to you.
Hopping off of the table you landed a foot below, squishing your feet slightly but nothing you couldn’t handle. Looking outwards you saw that Tara had turned around and began walking back towards you. As she approached you swore you locked eyes for the briefest moment before she grinned smugly and began scanning the rest of the party. Finally she reached you and you had already begun rubbing what you thought was such a clever plan in her face.
“How do you like it when someone takes something of your…” In a split second before you could even get a sentence out, Tara grabbed the back of her chair with one hand before spinning 180 degrees around and presenting her enormous, American flag covered ass to your body. You didn’t even have a second to process what was happening before the mountain of butt looming above you began to rapidly descend.
*plop*
Tara’s ass hit the chair with the force of what felt like a meteor striking the Earth. Her warm, slightly sweaty flesh on her left butt cheek flattened and expanded as she put more and more weight onto the chair, easily enveloping the entire plastic surface. The pressure she put onto your body by simply sitting down was tremendous. Now cracking open a fresh beer, your Aunt Tara smirked before placing her feet back up on the table. Feigning total innocence she spoke,
“Alright I’m all ears, Jake! I very much want to hear what you have to say about the environment! The weight on my conscience is just *crushing* and I feel like I’m really making an *ass* out of myself by not knowing more about the topic!” With every keyword she spoke you could just barely make out what she was saying beneath mounds of ass flesh. But from what you could hear she was clearly mocking your serious argument. She continued, “Seriously, Jake, I feel like you’re so knowledgeable about the subject that you teaching me would be even better than finding a pirate’s *booty*... alright that one wasn’t great I’ll admit but I’m not even sure if you can hear me right now anyway!” Tara laughed uproariously at how easily she “won” the argument in her mind, taking a moment to relax further and take a victory sip of her beer.
(END FLASHBACK)
“Needless to say I don’t involve myself in conflicts often, but trust me I will put myself in harm’s way if and when I need to! Even if it doesn’t always end up well for me. For those still interested, my mom luckily noticed me around a half hour later when my Aunt laid down to tan. With some doing she peeled me off, but deep down in my heart I feel like I at least reached her a little bit with my words!” You finished your story to another round of amused Smalls’ faces, all except for Chelsea’s of course. Her naturally empathetic nature meant that she hated hearing about how terrible your Aunt Tara was to you.
But Kimberly, Sophie, and Maddie seemed to all enjoy the story! Maddie appreciated your determination even in the face of great odds, Sophie mostly giggled at the physical things that happened to you, and Kimberly was interested to hear that you could at least survive dealing with more imposing women in your life.
“What’s that? Oh uhh sure.” Tara talked over you, clearly not listening to a single word that you were saying already. She then scooted her chair back a foot and lifted her legs up, slamming her feet onto the table mere inches away from you. In reality she wasn’t looking where she was putting her legs one bit, and it was just coincidence that she didn’t pulverize you under her heels. Now, each of Tara’s feet, slightly dirty from the backyard, stood an inch or so taller than you did. She continued speaking, “You said something about my footprint, right? I figured you would get enough interaction with feet enough in your life but if you’re interested check em out!” Immediately you were frustrated beyond belief. Like usual, she wasn’t giving you an ounce of respect, and was more preoccupied with drinking her beer and relaxing than listening to you.
“Aunt Tara! Please will you move your feet! I was talking about a CARBON footprint, not your literal gross footprint. You know, as in like pollution?” Exasperated you tried to get through to her.
“Nah I’m way too comfortable now like this, little guy. Just pretend they aren’t even there and keep saying whatever you’re saying. Did you say pollution though? I heard that’s all just a myth and the world is gonna cool down again eventually.” Tara concluded her idiotic statement as if it was fact before wiggling her toes in the breeze. You saw small bits of dirt and grass fall off of them as she did this and you stepped further away from them, sufficiently grossed out.
“That’s simply not true! 99% of scientists are saying that we need to cut down on our emissions, and cars like that Hummer of yours are a big part of the problem! You should look into selling it and getting an electric vehicle in my opinio…”
“Ugh hold up one sec, tiny, I’ll be back in a jiff. I need a beer if you’re gonna keep annoying me like this.” Tara talked completely over you once more before standing up from her chair and walking a short distance towards the cooler. You saw her matching American flag bikini bottoms get slowly swallowed up between her enormous, jiggly ass cheeks and grimaced. A couple more months of eating the way that she did and those wouldn’t fit at all anymore. You were fed up, none of your talking points were making any progress with this obstinate woman. Moreover, if she came back and plopped her feet up next to you again you knew there was no way she would start listening to you at all. Looking into her empty chair you came up with a brilliant idea! If she was so selfish that she believed she was entitled to do whatever she wanted then you would show her some selfishness by claiming her chair as your own too! Surely when she came back from getting a beer she would be forced to see the irony of the situation and maybe even listen to you.
Hopping off of the table you landed a foot below, squishing your feet slightly but nothing you couldn’t handle. Looking outwards you saw that Tara had turned around and began walking back towards you. As she approached you swore you locked eyes for the briefest moment before she grinned smugly and began scanning the rest of the party. Finally she reached you and you had already begun rubbing what you thought was such a clever plan in her face.
“How do you like it when someone takes something of your…” In a split second before you could even get a sentence out, Tara grabbed the back of her chair with one hand before spinning 180 degrees around and presenting her enormous, American flag covered ass to your body. You didn’t even have a second to process what was happening before the mountain of butt looming above you began to rapidly descend.
*plop*
Tara’s ass hit the chair with the force of what felt like a meteor striking the Earth. Her warm, slightly sweaty flesh on her left butt cheek flattened and expanded as she put more and more weight onto the chair, easily enveloping the entire plastic surface. The pressure she put onto your body by simply sitting down was tremendous. Now cracking open a fresh beer, your Aunt Tara smirked before placing her feet back up on the table. Feigning total innocence she spoke,
“Alright I’m all ears, Jake! I very much want to hear what you have to say about the environment! The weight on my conscience is just *crushing* and I feel like I’m really making an *ass* out of myself by not knowing more about the topic!” With every keyword she spoke you could just barely make out what she was saying beneath mounds of ass flesh. But from what you could hear she was clearly mocking your serious argument. She continued, “Seriously, Jake, I feel like you’re so knowledgeable about the subject that you teaching me would be even better than finding a pirate’s *booty*... alright that one wasn’t great I’ll admit but I’m not even sure if you can hear me right now anyway!” Tara laughed uproariously at how easily she “won” the argument in her mind, taking a moment to relax further and take a victory sip of her beer.
(END FLASHBACK)
“Needless to say I don’t involve myself in conflicts often, but trust me I will put myself in harm’s way if and when I need to! Even if it doesn’t always end up well for me. For those still interested, my mom luckily noticed me around a half hour later when my Aunt laid down to tan. With some doing she peeled me off, but deep down in my heart I feel like I at least reached her a little bit with my words!” You finished your story to another round of amused Smalls’ faces, all except for Chelsea’s of course. Her naturally empathetic nature meant that she hated hearing about how terrible your Aunt Tara was to you.
But Kimberly, Sophie, and Maddie seemed to all enjoy the story! Maddie appreciated your determination even in the face of great odds, Sophie mostly giggled at the physical things that happened to you, and Kimberly was interested to hear that you could at least survive dealing with more imposing women in your life.
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March 28, 2025
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