Rubbing his eyes and taking another look around, the freshly-shrunken freshman immediately got several clues about his current location. To his right was a multilayer trophy case filled with awards. To his left was a wall-mounted flatscreen mutely tuned to ESPN, a bin of rolled-up yoga mats, and a few stray exercise balls. Behind him, he found several posters of current pro athletes, framed jerseys, and a glowing neon sign of Rosie the Riveter hanging above three couches covered in gym bags, empty Gatorade bottles and hair ties. Putting all of this together, it didn't take a genius to figure out that he had woken up in House Diana—the sorority known to everyone else at Ventus as the "Jock House." 
 
If the nerds in House Minerva were the smartest students on campus, the goths in House Juno were the scariest, and the e-girls in House Fortuna were the hottest, then the jocks in House Diana were unquestionably the strongest—and, as a result of their rigorous athletic and social obligations, among the smelliest. Because every girl in the house was on at least one of Ventus's varsity teams — and spent most of their spare time either working out, partying or hooking up — the place was infamous for its locker-room-like atmosphere, and the interior almost always reeked of BO and dirty gym clothes. It was also unquestionably the most well-funded and traditionally popular sorority at Ventus—responsible for millions of dollars in annual revenue between athletic sponsorships from current residents and donations from successful alumni. 
 
Realizing where he was, Max wasn't sure how to feel. While the girls in here were renowned for many things, they weren't exactly intellectual powerhouses. Not in any way that would help him right now, at least. Still, they were generally much more friendly and good-natured than the average man-hating Juno goth, bratty Fortuna e-girl or feral Proserpina gooner—which gave him some comfort in his chances of not ending up as a snack, sex toy or worse. Even if he couldn't find someone who could figure out how to get him back to normal right off the bat, he was fairly confident that he could run into someone who'd be willing to help him find that sort of person elsewhere on campus. The only question now was who that initial someone might be.

Thinking through the few Diana girls he knew off the top of his head, several names quickly came to mind—starting with his former high school classmate, Nikki Allais. While the six-foot blonde basketball star definitely fit the Diana stereotype of a sweaty jock and had always been fairly absent-minded, she was also one of the sweetest, most outgoing people he'd ever met—even if he'd never said two words to her in the four-plus years they'd now attended school together. Nevertheless, she seemed like a pretty safe bet in the grand scheme of things.
 
Then, there was Tiffany Marshall—the biggest social butterfly in the house. As the unofficial face of Ventus's athletic department, she graced posters and promotional materials all over campus—which made Max think she might be another good person to look for. Few other girls on campus would succeed in making more buzz on his behalf — at least, outside House Fortuna — assuming Tiffany decided that he was worth her undeniably valuable time.
 
Of course, there was also Ursa Kolossovna—a hulking 6'8" Russian sophomore who Max had noticed several times around campus. Another of Ventus's top-billed athletes, the most valuable player of the wrestling, football and track teams, the white-haired, pale-skinned Siberian amazon was one of the most intimidating people that Max had ever seen in real life—which didn't exactly make him want to run into her right now. Then again, he'd be hard-pressed to find a bigger, stronger person to watch his back at a time like this. 
 
Reviewing his hypothetical options, Max concluded that the best-case scenario would be running into Nikki—but where and how he'd find her, he had no idea. He'd never been inside House Diana before all this and wasn't confident in his prospects of navigating it now. The climb down from the coffee table would already be a significant challenge. Fortunately, or unfortunately, before he could spend any more time trying to game the whole situation out, he heard the door open on the other side of the room.
 
When he turned around, he found himself face to face with…