Cause you need fingers for a flask
Equestria Invading
Chapter 3
· original author:
fatfan12345
I watched as the presidential motercade passed through my town, I was amazed at how close I was, I was almost standing on the street seeing three pristine cars drive through the street, when suddenly a figure fell from the sky crushing all three cars, cheering stopped as the forty foot figure stumbled onto her feet, she sobbed loudly as she took out a flask and drank out of it "Guh... is... is this earth?" The towering jet black figure asked as she stumbled drunkenly
There was a silence hanging in the air "I said is this earth Celestia damn it!" She yelled angrily before we all agreed, she threw her teal hair out of her face and grabbed her flask again "Good cause-oom" She took another drink before talking "Cause I'm taking over. Where's your world leaders? I'm gonna smash em..." She said as she looked around
"Uh... you just killed them." The mayor said
"Oh really? Oh awesome I guess... Okay um... yeah my name's Chrysalis and... and I'm taking over... shit I have a head ache, I'm gonna take a nap..." She said as she slumped before passing out crushing four buildings in the process, it was incredibly surreal as people slowly fled the giant beast
----
Once we were pretty sure we'd reached a safe distance the people around me were in a full on panic, as we took refuge in a diner and watched the news "I'm here reporting live, the towering creature known as "Chrysalis" that murdered President Gildby is still sleeping, I'm getting word that the army is preparing an air strike." The reporter said
Six fighter jets flew by launching missiles at Chrysalis, everybody cheered but Chrysalis simply sat up with a groggy look about her as she rubbed her eyes "Guh... I have the worst headache." She said, her voice powerful enough for the recording crew to hear, we all sat silently as she got up and dusted herself off as she started shuffling to the news crew
"Gah! Um... it appears the creature is follow me now and I am running for my life!" The reporter yelled before Chrysalis grabbed him and the cameraman
"Hey-hey uh-" Chrysalis burped, still tipsy from her drinking "Is that camera working? Can anybody see me?" Chrysalis asked
"Y-yes this is world wide coverage." The reporter said
"Oh okay. Here gimme-gimme that mic..." She said as she tried to grab the mic without dropping the cameraman
"GAH!!!" The cameraman screamed as Chrysalis dropped him, but she caught him as he dangled upside down, we had a terrifying shot of Chrysalis's feet, wearing flipflops her feet stretched across the two lane road she stood on, she grabbed the mic as best she could "Attention... whatever the hell you guys are I don't know..." Chrysalis said before putting the camera on her, she laid on her flat stomach and looked into the camera "What time is it?" She asked the reporter
"I-it's eleven thirty." He said
"Well guess what? This is the last half hour of my birthday! Know what I got?" Chrysalis asked "NOT A GOD DAMN THING!!!" She yelled pounding her fist which shook the ground "Nobody-Nobody even sent me a card! They didn't send me a text! They didn't tweet! They didn't even send me a funny cat video! I mean there's a billion of those furry fuckers on youtube! The fuck!?" Chrysalis yelled through her tears "So you know what I'm doing? I'm treating myself! To your planet!" She drank from her flask "As of know I rule your stupid planet! So I want all you sons of bitches to make me more whisky. Anybody who's not getting me another drink I want you to make me a steak dinner, with baked potatoes with butter on them, and... I dunno something green. Not spinach though I just don't think that'd be a very good mix, and not peas either I-I don't know you guys figure it out!" Chrysalis pushed away the cameraman and went back to sleep
We sat silently in the diner, nobody really knowing what to make of it, our weapons were useless but could we really give up?
There was a silence hanging in the air "I said is this earth Celestia damn it!" She yelled angrily before we all agreed, she threw her teal hair out of her face and grabbed her flask again "Good cause-oom" She took another drink before talking "Cause I'm taking over. Where's your world leaders? I'm gonna smash em..." She said as she looked around
"Uh... you just killed them." The mayor said
"Oh really? Oh awesome I guess... Okay um... yeah my name's Chrysalis and... and I'm taking over... shit I have a head ache, I'm gonna take a nap..." She said as she slumped before passing out crushing four buildings in the process, it was incredibly surreal as people slowly fled the giant beast
----
Once we were pretty sure we'd reached a safe distance the people around me were in a full on panic, as we took refuge in a diner and watched the news "I'm here reporting live, the towering creature known as "Chrysalis" that murdered President Gildby is still sleeping, I'm getting word that the army is preparing an air strike." The reporter said
Six fighter jets flew by launching missiles at Chrysalis, everybody cheered but Chrysalis simply sat up with a groggy look about her as she rubbed her eyes "Guh... I have the worst headache." She said, her voice powerful enough for the recording crew to hear, we all sat silently as she got up and dusted herself off as she started shuffling to the news crew
"Gah! Um... it appears the creature is follow me now and I am running for my life!" The reporter yelled before Chrysalis grabbed him and the cameraman
"Hey-hey uh-" Chrysalis burped, still tipsy from her drinking "Is that camera working? Can anybody see me?" Chrysalis asked
"Y-yes this is world wide coverage." The reporter said
"Oh okay. Here gimme-gimme that mic..." She said as she tried to grab the mic without dropping the cameraman
"GAH!!!" The cameraman screamed as Chrysalis dropped him, but she caught him as he dangled upside down, we had a terrifying shot of Chrysalis's feet, wearing flipflops her feet stretched across the two lane road she stood on, she grabbed the mic as best she could "Attention... whatever the hell you guys are I don't know..." Chrysalis said before putting the camera on her, she laid on her flat stomach and looked into the camera "What time is it?" She asked the reporter
"I-it's eleven thirty." He said
"Well guess what? This is the last half hour of my birthday! Know what I got?" Chrysalis asked "NOT A GOD DAMN THING!!!" She yelled pounding her fist which shook the ground "Nobody-Nobody even sent me a card! They didn't send me a text! They didn't tweet! They didn't even send me a funny cat video! I mean there's a billion of those furry fuckers on youtube! The fuck!?" Chrysalis yelled through her tears "So you know what I'm doing? I'm treating myself! To your planet!" She drank from her flask "As of know I rule your stupid planet! So I want all you sons of bitches to make me more whisky. Anybody who's not getting me another drink I want you to make me a steak dinner, with baked potatoes with butter on them, and... I dunno something green. Not spinach though I just don't think that'd be a very good mix, and not peas either I-I don't know you guys figure it out!" Chrysalis pushed away the cameraman and went back to sleep
We sat silently in the diner, nobody really knowing what to make of it, our weapons were useless but could we really give up?
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April 19
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