If you'd told me a few years ago that one day Earth was going to be invaded by ponies, of all things, I'd have laughed in your face. And then had your mental health called into question. That's what happened, though, and no amount of explaining how stupid or unlikely it all was will ever change that. One day, everything fucked up - everything. Animals temporarily mutated, personalities flipped and in-flipped at random, and the sky turned into a vomit-worthy mishmash of colours. Then it all stopped, and they came.
Their portal ripped open, and they started to come through. Fucking ponies. If contact was peaceful, I wouldn't have given much of a shit about them, but it was anything but peaceful. Their leader, some real big one of itch wings and a horn, started talking when people arrived and trained cameras on her, saying that our entire planet was tainted by Chaos and that for our 'safety', they were going to remove this taint. No matter what we said or did.
Christ, reminds me of that old Warhammer game. Chaos and inquisitions and all that.
Did I mention what the ponies looked like? Take a horse, cross it with a human, and then pick a random colour to paint it. There were different types, too - unicorns and pegasi and whatnot. Oh, and they're all massive. A good seven feet tall at the largest, and not a single one shorter than six foot four. Not helping things were the... generous curves they all had. Would you want to shoot a sexy alien amazon that could probably lift your entire body with a single hand? Didn't think so, which is why it's a good thing you're not me. Someone's gotta keep fighting them after our governments fucked off and gave them control - I still reckon they can mind control people.
See, they say they're good. They act like they're good. But if they were actually good, why'd that annex us? Why's we get no choice in the matter? All answers I've gotta beat out of them, one at a time.
Magic was nice. Wings were nice. But gold armour? I don't think so. My battleship beats that anyday, and you can't even fight what you can't see.
Rubble-choked streets, another abandoned city. Slowly being ripped apart while trying to find the source of the taint. Knight fucking Templars, every one of them. They were all poking through the rubble, trying to find something useful.
I knew they wouldn't find it. Not because there wasn't anything of use there, but because I was about to start another battle. Laid low for too long, about time Ingot to crack some pony skulls again.
How would I do this? Well:
First, my suit. Took it with me when I abandoned the military. One of their new stealth suits. Solar powered - not much use here with out weather - and can turn you pretty much invisible if you don't move too fast.
Second, my gun. Nice little thing - an SMG. Slower than others but more reliable. Accurate, as well. I had to keep track of how much ammo I used during resistance missions but I had enough for a while.
A one man rebellion. Heh. I like the sound of that. Just me, my suit, and my gun. And several large canisters that I'd only touch on the edge of death.
Violator of pony law, old UN law... and probably a good many moral codes.
Violator. I like the sound of that...
Their portal ripped open, and they started to come through. Fucking ponies. If contact was peaceful, I wouldn't have given much of a shit about them, but it was anything but peaceful. Their leader, some real big one of itch wings and a horn, started talking when people arrived and trained cameras on her, saying that our entire planet was tainted by Chaos and that for our 'safety', they were going to remove this taint. No matter what we said or did.
Christ, reminds me of that old Warhammer game. Chaos and inquisitions and all that.
Did I mention what the ponies looked like? Take a horse, cross it with a human, and then pick a random colour to paint it. There were different types, too - unicorns and pegasi and whatnot. Oh, and they're all massive. A good seven feet tall at the largest, and not a single one shorter than six foot four. Not helping things were the... generous curves they all had. Would you want to shoot a sexy alien amazon that could probably lift your entire body with a single hand? Didn't think so, which is why it's a good thing you're not me. Someone's gotta keep fighting them after our governments fucked off and gave them control - I still reckon they can mind control people.
See, they say they're good. They act like they're good. But if they were actually good, why'd that annex us? Why's we get no choice in the matter? All answers I've gotta beat out of them, one at a time.
---
Magic was nice. Wings were nice. But gold armour? I don't think so. My battleship beats that anyday, and you can't even fight what you can't see.
Rubble-choked streets, another abandoned city. Slowly being ripped apart while trying to find the source of the taint. Knight fucking Templars, every one of them. They were all poking through the rubble, trying to find something useful.
I knew they wouldn't find it. Not because there wasn't anything of use there, but because I was about to start another battle. Laid low for too long, about time Ingot to crack some pony skulls again.
How would I do this? Well:
First, my suit. Took it with me when I abandoned the military. One of their new stealth suits. Solar powered - not much use here with out weather - and can turn you pretty much invisible if you don't move too fast.
Second, my gun. Nice little thing - an SMG. Slower than others but more reliable. Accurate, as well. I had to keep track of how much ammo I used during resistance missions but I had enough for a while.
A one man rebellion. Heh. I like the sound of that. Just me, my suit, and my gun. And several large canisters that I'd only touch on the edge of death.
Violator of pony law, old UN law... and probably a good many moral codes.
Violator. I like the sound of that...
145 views
·
April 19
Sign in to comment